A Day to Remember

Day #22

Chris Brown

"You know, everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was a sign that you two just weren't ready." Mary said patting me on my back. I sighed and put my hands in my head.

"I just feel like I could've done something to prevent it. This is all my fault."

There were actually issues with the baby Savannah was carrying and things didn't turn out well. Savannah had a miscarriage and the doctors can't even identify why it happened. They said it could have just been natural causes. But I feel like it was much more than that.

She hasn't cried or got depressed or anything. Why would she? She barely wanted to have the baby in the first place. But I feel like, thought the months she did grow an attachment to the baby and I know she wished this didn't happen. But she hasn't really opened up to me about how she feels yet.

"I don't want you blaming yourself for this. You know you two can always try again when you're truly ready."

"I know."

"This isn't your fault at all, Christopher. You have to understand." I shook my head standing up.

"This is my fault. Look, I have to go. I have to go clear my head."

"Please, don't do anything I wouldn't do." I grabbed my jacket and threw it over my shoulders.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me." With that I walked out the house and got in my car. I pulled a blunt out of my pocket and lit it, just sitting there thinking.

"Aye, cool if I stop by?" I asked Tip over the phone.

"Yeah, man. Everything good?"

"I just need someone to talk to."

"All right, that's cool. Just roll through." I nodded my head, hanging up the phone and making my way to Tip's house.

So much was going through my head. Savannah and losing the baby were the primary things of course. There was just so much to worry about and deal with, I couldn't think straight.

"What's up." Tip said dapping me up. He grabbed a couple Coronas and blunts and sat down with me on his couch. "What's goin' on, Chris?"

"Savannah lost the baby." I blurted out.

"She did?!" He sat up quickly with his mouth wide open.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry, man. I'm here for y'all."

"It's fine.  And we're thinking about breaking up."

"All that complaining y'all did when you got here and while you were gone and now y'all wanna call it quits? What the fuck, man?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for it or if we actually are better off as friends."

"Why are y'all thinking about ending it anyway?" He asked.

"We just don't know each other the way we used to. Things changed so Savannah wants to start fresh with me."

"Oh. You got a lot of shit going on, man. The baby, your girl, your job too, man. That's a boring ass job and you know it."

"I just need the money. I gotta get back on my feet." He sighed and put his hand on my shoulder looking at me.

"Dude, look. You're 21, you shouldn't be dealing with all this bullshit. You're legit acting like a 35 year old man and I'm not playing. You need to take it easy."

"What you mean?" I asked looking back at him.

"Let's start with Savannah. I get it, you got a fine ass girl and you don't wanna let her go. But starting over with her don't mean y'all can't fuck every now and then. It don't mean y'all can't kiss. I bet nothing will really change. You break up if you want to."

"You're right."

"And the baby. You don't know how bad I feel about Savannah having a miscarriage. I know you were really forward to fatherhood. But again, you're 21. You still got time. Everything happens for a reason. You're gonna be okay."

"You're right." I started nodding my head, really getting what he was saying.

"And your job. You need the money? Okay. But there's tons of other ways to get money and not work somewhere like that. I'm always here, if you need money I got you. I'm ballin big, Chris. You don't even have to pay me back."

"I can't do that, bruh."

"I'm serious. You don't have to pay me back. I got your back."

"Man." We both gave each other a brotherly hug right there on the couch. He really made me feel better about somethings.

"I'ma go to Savannah's house. We're gonna talk about this, I'ma be straight forward with ha ass. She's gonna listen."

"Yes!" Tip agreed.

"Thanks for coming through, Tip. I'll see you in a minute." With that being said, I grabbed the Coronas he pulled out and made my way to Savannah's.

**

"You all right?" I asked looking at her as the elevator doors opened. She shrugged her shoulders crossing her arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said softly. I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She said confused as to why I was acting the way I was.

"And I want you to know that I'm here for you. I always will be."

"Thanks, Chris." She said with a smile as we pulled away from each other.

"C'mon. Let's have a little chat." I took hold of her hand and walked her to her living room. We both sat on the couch and she took a deep breath.

"Is this about us breaking up? Because I thought about it an-"

"I'll get there." I cut her off. She raised her eyebrows at me and just nodded her head.

"Okay." She said.

"You know, I've been confused about the way you've been feeling about the miscarriage."

"I don't want to talk about this, Chris."

"Just hear me out. I've been confused, baby. But you've been keeping things to yourself for a while now so I kind of understand why. But Sav, I know you wanted that baby." She looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Okay." She said sniffling.

"It's all gonna be okay though," I moved close to her and moved the hair out of her face. "You're a beautiful young woman.  Any man would be lucky to have a child with you, whether it be me or someone else. You'll know when the time is right."

"Thank you." She said looking at me.

"And now us. If you want to break up, if you feel like that's the way to go though then I'm willing to do it. I just want you to be happy again."

"I don't know if I do anymore."

"To be honest, Savannah, I think we should. Not just because us so called, not knowing each other anymore, but also because we just need sometime apart."

"Do you really feel that way?"

"I do.  I don't want you thinking too hard on this. Who knows, maybe this'll fix things up between us. Maybe we could try again when we're ready. But for now, we need a break."

"Wow." She aid clearing her throat.

"You're still my little baby, you'll always be. The number one girl in my life. And if you ever need me I'm always gonna be there for you. Especially now. Do you understand?"

"Yes." A tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away before kissing her cheek.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Chris."