HER Young Mate (Completed)

Part Forty

After what Wade did to me I lost all hope. I didn't want to live.

I knew if I ever had the chance to return to my family- to Danny- that they would be happy to see me... But I don't think I could ever be anything  but miserable ever again.

I felt like a wilting plant, hanging on only because there was no way for me to kill myself, locked here in this room.

For the first time I started counting days. Every morning I'd wake up, my body sore from the abusive way he'd force himself on me every night. The way he'd defile me.

I scratched a little mark on the wall. I only knew it was morning, because he'd come in to force feed me oatmeal, drugs, and then force himself on me again.

I would lay in bed while he was gone, stare at the crumbling spot in the plaster where I scratched at whenever he'd give me uppers instead of downers: which was becoming less and less. He liked me docile and numb.

I should have never fought him so much. I would take a hundred more beatings if it meant he'd stop raping me. If it meant I didn't have to feel this way. Alone and cold in this room.

I knew the house was large from the first and only time I had been invited to eat dinner with the rest of the inhibitors of the house... But it felt like an empty tomb. It felt like I was in a coffin and this house was the mausoleum.  I prayed every night that my little sisters- Danny's little sisters- were doing better than I was. I prayed that they were able to keep their innocence. I prayed the other men didn't drug them. That they were different than Wade.

He was twisted and cynical, Wade, there wasn't an ounce of good in him. He bathed me, fed me, and clothed me occasionally, but that was only to keep me alive enough to rape me and repeat.

I don't know if he gave up on the idea of claiming me, or if he was simply trying to break me, crush me to tiny bits, so I would obey better.

It wouldn't work though.

I was never going to go wolf again.

I couldn't.

I'm pretty sure she's dead...

No. I'm here. I'll always be here...  

I turned on my sore side and scratched a fourth tally mark in the wall.

I sobbed into my pillow.

If my wolf was still alive, then I pitied her too. If I ever did turn again she would be as mangled and weak as I am. I would no longer be a beautiful sleek wolf, with brown fur that dances in the moonlight. I'd be a mangy mutt. That's all I am now. A sorrowful mess.

Weak.

Pathetic.

Don't give up. Danny is looking for us.

I covered my ears, willing her away.

Why now? Why was she coming back now?! Now that I want nothing to do with her. Now that I can wish her the happiness of death.

I should have stayed human.

I should have stayed away from home.

None of this would have ever happened if I were still with Wyatt.

We would have never had Danny either!

I sobbed harder. I tried to not think of him too much. My wolf was right though.

The little time I had spent with Danny was the best time of my entire life.

It was all I could remember that could keep me together.