Broken Misery (H.Styles Fanfic)

Chapter 10

But as soon as I get in the car, my phone vibrates in my purse, flashing a text message. 'I can't wait to run into you in the house'.

I shake my head and laugh out loud in the car as I drive off, showing him a smile when I pass him jumping in the driver's seat of Lou's car. He winks at me without the others noticing, and heat rushes through my entire body.

I quickly type as soon as I reach the next red light. 'I'll ignore you. Wouldn't want to disappoint Daddy Direction'.

'Piss off :)' is his reply, and I get home smiling like an idiot.

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-1 week later-

School is over. After a week of revision, hard work to prepare exams and a few essays to write, classes are finally over.

I sit at the kitchen table, notes and books scattered over the entire surface grouped by course and day of the exam, and I try to motivate myself to read. With five exams left, two papers to hand in and an evaluation on a project already given in, I feel like I'm about to go crazy even though I've already learned by heart most of the themes and notes. But we're Saturday and classes are over. I'd asked my boss to give the weekend off weeks ago so I would have more time to study, but this day hasn't been very productive so far. I would've been more productive making coffee and sandwiches behind the counter than I am at rewriting my notes, and at least I would've been paid for it.

Things were crazy all week. With Harry back, Liam checking up on us every few hours with a phone call or an unexpected show up, Alfie having a fight with Lewis that lead to an almost breakup, school almost every morning and work almost every afternoon, things have been completely hectic. The only way I managed to spend a few hours studying was to lock myself up in the bedroom with music blasting through the speakers and turning my phone off. Once in a while I'd get out of the room to get food or to use the bathroom - I even switched from taking baths to showers just to waste less time -, which resulted in having to talk to Harry if he was home or Liam if he was checking up on us, and then I'd turn on my phone to listen to Alfie complaining about Lewis not wanting to move in anymore. Lewis had never actually said that he didn't want to move in anymore, he just said that it'd be easier for Alfie to move in with him, but apparently this option couldn't even be considered. Apart from that, I'd leave for school in the morning, go to work and get back home right away.

Kneeling on the chair with my forearms flat on the table, my bangs hiding most of my view, none of the words seem to make any sense in the books as I look at them and try to read from afar. I've learned them by heart, but understanding them is another story. If I flip my notes to a random page and read the theme, I can recite the entire page word by word, every single sentence and give examples according to what we've learned in class. I can write down definitions and relate events with others, but when I try to explain them in other words, I blank completely. The midterm exams had been multiple choices, short answers and a couple of long development questions, but they had all been questions that required answers by heart. Finals usually required longer questions and more development, usually written in our own words to assure a proper understanding of the material learned throughout the entire semester. This is exactly where I suck.

When it comes down to motivation, I bite into the chicken sandwich I made with the chicken leftover from yesterday, and I tell myself that after this bite, I'll focus and study for an hour. But one bite turns into a second, and a second obviously turns into a third, and I end up eating the whole damn sandwich before I even read one of the pages. I have to admit that the sandwich is absolutely incredible, though.

Harry cooked the chicken last night. I had politely and subtly implied that I wanted chicken for dinner after I went to Tesco after work, bought four chicken breasts and left them to defreeze on the counter. He probably caught onto my hint when I never came back downstairs, and finally at around seven o'clock while I was studying, he knocked on the door and shouted that dinner was ready. I smirked to myself as my stomach growled loudly, and followed him to the dining room. On the table were the four chicken breasts marinated and cooked to perfect temperature, a delicious sweet and sour scent coming from them. He'd nicely mashed potatoes and cooked broccoli on the side, and my glass of water was already filled to the edge.

But today, Harry hasn't been home all day. I knew he had a radio interview earlier in the morning, but he said that I should be expecting him early in the afternoon. So I patiently wait for him while I eat my chicken breast sandwich, dressed in warm pyjamas to fight the cold, even when the heat is on. It still hasn't snowed here, and every day I check the weather and hope for a white coat covering the ground. I was told that there wasn't much snow in the winter, but that there would be eventually. With Christmas coming up, finals and extremely cold weather already hitting us, I would expect snow to come soon enough. Amanda informed me over Skype last night that there was over a foot of snow over the entire city of Boston. It was still early evening there when we talked and she managed to get her webcam looking towards the window, her whole backyard hidden under a thick layer of white snowflakes. Though I'd grown up with snow and absolutely hated it, December just isn't right without it. The Christmas tree in the living room isn't enough to give me a good holiday vibe.

Almost an hour has passed when I realize that all I've been doing is eating and thinking. The notes on the table are the exact same way they were when I first placed them and none of them has been read, or even touched. If the exams were to be just definitions and multiple choices, I would consider myself more than ready. I know that I would actually ace every single exam and I wouldn't even hesitate on a single answer, but I can't risk it and stop now when all the questions could be examples to give.

Alfie is a God at examples. He's the complete opposite of me. When we study together, I bring the rational side of the course while he brings the abstract, relying examples and explaining in his words, which ends up being a lot easier. He understands everything, but when it comes to learning by heart, he can't recite a single definition even after repeating it and writing it down over a hundred times. We make the perfect pair, but we need each other. This is why we get along so well.

I nearly jump on Harry when he walks into the house with a half-eaten hamburger in its McDonald's wrapper in his hand. He falls back against the door and glares at me with wide eyes after he almost dropped his burger, but I simply sigh. "I need you so bad."

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Chapter end notes:

Hello everyone!

How are you all?

How do you feel about Liam knowing but not the other boys? Do you think he'll keep the secret? I mean, Liam is pretty trustworthy, usually...

What do you think Elena meant when she said that she and I quote "Need's Harry"? Is it for the reason that we all are thinking about or does it have a different meaning?

I love hearing from you guys!
And please please please don't be a silent reader, even though I love you just as equally!

Don't forget to comment and vote!!Thanks!:D

All the Love xxxx

-Katexx