Hold Me Down

Chapter Twenty One | I Miss You

Chapter Twenty One | I Miss You
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I thought that things like this get better with time

But I still need you, why is that?

You're the only image in my mind

So I still see you... around

I miss you, like everyday

Wanna be with you, but you're away

Said I miss you, missing you insane

But if I got with you, could it feel the same? - Beyonce
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Essence

The sun rays beamed in through my bedroom window and smacked me dead in the face, awaking me from my horrible sleep. I groaned loudly as I slung my arm over my eyes and shifted onto my other side. I allowed my eyes to flutter open so that I could see my husband's handsome face, but I was only met with the adorable one of my sleeping son. I sighed softly as the thoughts of just yesterday came crashing back into my mind like a tsunami. How I forgot was beyond me, but the events were back full force now.

It has only been a couple of hours since I stopped wearing my ring and it felt weird. I was already missing Money dearly, but I had to do what needed to be done. I always ended up doing things that I didn't want to do, like leaving him, but it's for the safety and well-being of my child. When it comes to him, my wants and needs are the least of my worries because he comes first, before all.

The nightmare still haunts me of losing my unborn child a couple years ago, which is partially why I give my all to be the best mother possible. I made a very stupid decision back then and took the bitch route, causing me to lose my child. That really took something out of me, which is why I go so hard for the child that I do have. I refuse to lose another child, especially from shit that could be avoided. If I didn't take the step to remove my, our son from the equation, what kind of mother would I be?

I hated to be a bitch and pull my son away from his father, but it was for the best. Money was a good dad, I don't and I won't take that away from him, but he isn't making the best decisions. He only base his decisions off of himself and not the three of us as a family. He fails to realize that what he does not only affects him, but me being his wife, and Domani being his only child as well. You have to think about these things when you take certain actions, but Money doesn't seem to get that. Until he does, Domani & I will be calling this condo home.

I rubbed my sleepy eyes and pushed the stray thoughts away from my mind right now. I sat up straight in the bed and stretched my arms over my head.
I looked next to me again to see Domani still sleeping with his hands inside of his basketball shorts. I smiled slightly and shook my head, he has picked up too many ways from that father of his. When he gets a little older, I wouldn't be surprised if people started calling him "Money#2".

Getting out from the bed, I went into
the adjoining bathroom to relieve myself. While I was inside, I went ahead and showered, completed my morning routine, and changed into a pair of black Adidas yoga pants and a white tank top that I'd left over here.

After I had gotten cleaned up, I went on to another task, waking up Domani. He was really something when it came to getting up, just like his father. I sighed as I walked around to his side of the bed and began to gently shake at his shoulders to see if he would respond or give in.

"Domani, baby, it's time to get up," I called and he did open his eyes a little, but that doesn't mean he was up. Indeed, he started to whine and push at my hands to stop bothering him. It was amusing sometimes, but he really needed to wake up.