Secrets I Have Held In My Heart

Chapter 74

  "This could all be over if you didn't run away and if you tell me what I want to hear. Where did you send your son?"

I can't speak, maybe because the pounding in my head makes me want to faint or I simply have nothing to say as I stall time. "I hope you're a better smoother talker in bed, Enzo." He lets out a breath at my words, I was hoping my quip my lessen the tension in the room but it doesn't.

He comes close, forcing me up against a wall and I dig my nails into the wall behind me. The brick cuts into my skin, the smell of whiskey on his breathe like he had a drink before he came to interrogate me. Maybe he needed it to will himself to do this.

  "I will ask you once more, where did you send your son? To your supposed husband? Is he coming for you? Are his...friends coming for you?" They're all coming for me and you don't stand a chance, I want to say but I tell him what I can.

  "I don't know!" This next part will hurt, I am tiptoeing on Enoz's breaking point assuredly. "If I did, you would most likely kill me." Enzo's looks away from me, twisting his neck to the side and cracking it. "I swear I don't." I cry, hoping that will be enough. If we move locations again, only then will I tell him.

I want to make sure I know Auggie is far enough away where they can't get him. I heard him and his men talking about moving to the next spot in a few hours. I was hoping I would get moved once more before I had to face Enzo. I watch him lean back, stretching is back before he faces me and my fingers twitch with anxiety.

  "The one thing you seem to forget is that you are not the one in charge here. I am." Enzo grabs me suddenly forcing me forward and I grab his arm trying to throw it off me but pushes me against the wall. "Nothing my men did cracked you but I know something they don't," I try to fight him but he twists me putting me in a choke hold and I claw at his arms. "You're eating for two."

My nails draw blood on his arms and he grunts, kicking my legs out from under me. It causes his forearm to dig further into my windpipe and I cough, kicking back at him and fighting to get out of his hold. Dark spots fill my vision as I thrash against him. I start to panic. The door opens behind us and he drags me out, the weight of my body being drags me further into his arms.

  "This would have been so much easier if you would have just told me, Camilla."

  "You don't," I cry out in pain when he twists my body, causing it to spasm in pain. I weaken and he pulls me out further, "get to call me that." He turns me so I face whatever he's dragged me to and I see a man open a heavy metal door. I peer into the never-ending darkness that greets me.

  "People who are eating for two...have to eat regularly," I stop moving panting for air and his words roll around my head. "And you, Camilla," he spits my name at my feet, like it is something disgusting on his tongue, "won't be eating regularly."

Tears burn in my eyes and I throw myself, trying to get away but his arms band around my waist. The grip is so tight that I can feel the bruises that will form. "Enzo, no please!" I scream trying to turn around and run but it's too late, he shoves me into the small room, closing the door and it seals me inside. I run to the door just as I hear the lock of the door compress. It is locking the air in the room and I am consumed in darkness.

I scream pounding on the door, my fists doing quite literally nothing but causing the sound to echo in the silence. It thumps in my ears and I am terrified to close my eyes. "Enzo! Please! You don't understand I don't know where he is! I promise." I bang my fists against the wall, hoping he's still on the other side, that he can hear me. "If I did I would tell you, I swear!" No I wouldn't. "You...you can't do this!" I can't breathe. The pitch black feels as though it's taking away every inch of air in my lungs. I don't notice the blood that is dripping down my hands and arms, crawling away and gasping for air as I scream Spencer's name. "Please." I whimper into the nothingness, hoping that he will somehow hear me in Washington from wherever I am. Rescue me.

My eyes close and I lose myself once again.

!!!___!!!

I am going in and out of time and for a moment, I don't know where I am or when. I wave my hands around and they're smaller. When I was younger, crying when my father locked me in the basement. The only light that came through was from the dirty windows filled with cobwebs in the corners of their panes.

  "It's not real, it's not real." I keep chanting over and over, slamming my hands down over my ears so I don't have to hear his voice. It's like the room itself is alive. I swear I can hear different screams jump around the walls. It shakes as it breathes with me. My hands run across the walls trying to find the escape.

I can hear screaming and it sounds familiar making me look around but it's just me in this room. I know that. So silent I can hear my heart beating. The screaming is behind me but there's nothing there. Something isn't right.

I look down and Auggie is in my arms, small and soft. My Auggie. Why is he here? Why is he little again? Kisses are pressed to the base of my neck, a cold chill with it and from his smell alone I know that it's him.

Time doesn't make sense right now. One part of me is locked in a room and the other is stuck here, Auggie in my arms and Spencer behind me, holding me. Like it should've been from the beginning. He hums softly in my ear when I open my eyes. He's right in front of me.

  "Camilla."

I'm his. He's mine. I've always been his and he's always been mine. I am whatever he wants me to be. I've been waiting for him this whole time and he's been too blind to see it. We both have. Love can do that.

  "Please, Spence." I look over to the man who holds claim to me, my heart and my soul. "Why. Why'd this have to happen."

  "These violent delights have violent ends."

My eyes fill with tears at his words, even though I wanted real words, not poetry. I nod in understanding, taking his words in and holding them close. It's insufferable pain that blooms. Pure insufferable pain of being completely and utterly alone.

I look down at the baby only to see that Auggie isn't in my arms anymore. I look back up at Spencer and he cradles him in his arms, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead before walking off.

  "WAAAIIITTTTT!"