Chapter 33

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  "What

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  "What...?"

She says and I just about blow it. Her eyes are wide with shock at the weight of my words settled upon her. She stands frozen.

My gaze is intent, filled with a mix of anger, pain, and a glimmer of hope. I take a step closer, my hands trembling with a mix of emotions. "You should've gone with him. You don't know how many things I want to scream at you right now. August...he's my son," I say, my voice laced with a combination of accusation and desperation.

I watch as Camilla's breath catches in her throat as she struggles to find the right words. I'm sure her mind is racing with the truth she has hidden for so long. Tears well up in her eyes as she finally finds her voice. "Yes," she admits and her admission is heavy with guilt and regret. "He's your son, Reid."

The room seems to tighten around us, suffocating with the weight of our unresolved past. My anger simmers beneath the surface as I fight to keep control of my emotions. I can't deny the mix of elation and sorrow that floods my heart at the confirmation of my paternal bond.

  "Why?" My voice cracks with a mix of anguish and confusion. "Why didn't you tell me? Wh-why?" That's all I can ask is why.

Her shoulders slump, the weight of her decisions bearing down upon her finally. "Can you blame me?" She says and now my eyes widen at her words. "You left me in a hospital room! I called you forty fucking times Spencer! Forty times! And not once- NOT ONCE- did you fucking pick up." She steps closer to me, tears streaming down her face. "So don't fucking stand there like I'm the only one in the wrong. You abandoned BOTH OF US."

She's screaming at me and a flicker of understanding crosses my face, but it quickly gives way to a resurgence of anger. "You had no right to make that decision on your own!" I retort, my voice filled with a mix of accusation and hurt. "I didn't know you were pregnant and you CAN NOT blame me for that!"

  "Yes. You didn't know I was pregnant but neither did I! I was so scared, Spencer," Her face is red, blotchy with how much she's crying. "I gave birth to him in the shower, I called 911 myself after I realized he wasn't breathing and I had to do CPR on our dying child. And You. Weren't. There." Every word she punctuates as she digs her finger into my chest. My eyes bore into hers, and a whirlwind of conflicting emotions rang within me. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "I washed the blood off my baby after cutting his umbilical cord with my goddamn teeth while YOU were doing god knows what probably fucking god knows who before you never came back."

  "I wasn't having sex with anyone!" I rage, my hands trying to emphasize my words. "I was-"

  "You were what?" She asks, voice softer but laced with a profound sadness.

Silence hangs heavy in the air as our eyes lock, our shared history fills with heartache, missed opportunities, and unspoken words. The realization of what could have been, the weight of all the lost time, presses upon both of us. Finally, I break the silence, my voice a fragile whisper. "I threw my phone away that night. Into the nearby beach. I couldn't take it anymore, Cami. I couldn't."

Now tears are coming to my eyes and I try to hold them back as a few slide down my cheeks.

  "That could mean everything and anything, Spencer. You couldn't do 'what' anymore? This? Us? Work? WHAT!"

  "Work! Are you kidding me?! I lov-I loved you. You don't know how many times I sat at my desk after a case and thought of just leaving. You don't know how many times I sat here, at home, and thought about getting high again." I watch her face drop at those last words and I wipe the dried tears off my face. "Yeah. I thought about taking Dilaudidagain because I hated that job so much and what it put me through. It tore me apart. I got kidnapped, drugged, sent to prison for a crime I never committed where I almost got stabbed up against a prison wall with a makeshift gag, and not to mention Cat almost killed you in front of me."

  "You could've told the team."

  "Why would I tell the same team who didn't even help me the first time I was addicted that I was going down that path again, huh?" My head tilts at the question, stepping closer to her again.

  "You could've at least told ME you son of a bitch."

  "I couldn't do that to you and you know that." My jaw tightens, my gaze focuses intently on Camilla. The raw honesty of my words pierces through the room, leaving an uneasy silence in its wake. I watch Camilla's eyes well with tears as she grapples with the revelation, a mix of anger, fear, and a glimmer of understanding forming within her I think.

And then tears stream down her face as she struggles between anger and a flicker of empathy. "You made that decision for us," she sobs, her voice filling with a mix of pain and frustration. "You didn't think we deserved a chance to fight alongside you, to support you?"

My voice cracks as I reach out, my hand trembling as I brush against Camilla's cheek but her head turns away. "I was drowning, Cami," I whisper, my voice raw. "I thought what I was doing was the best option, keeping you safe."

Silence envelops the room once more, our words hang in the air, heavy with the weight of unspoken truths and shattered dreams. Her gaze softens as she looks at me, her anger slowly giving way to a mix of emotions.

  "I wish you had trusted me," She says softly, her voice filling with a mix of sadness and regret. "Auggie deserved to have his father in his life."

My hand fell to my side, my gaze downcast as I absorb her words. "I know," I murmur, my voice filled with profound sorrow.

The room is thick with unresolved emotions, aching with the weight of lost time and missed opportunities. Midst the pain, we stood there, hearts heavy with the weight of our shared past.

  "I'll pick Auggie up in the morning, Reid. You shouldn't come with."

And then suddenly, just like that, we're on last last-name basis again. "Okay." My voice is a small whisper. It breaks and cracks as the word makes its way out of my mouth. 

Author Note~~~~

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Author Note~~~~

Oop 🤭 not the accidental confession from Spencer....

P.S. I'll be uploading a lot more frequently I hope during this month. Thank you so so much for everyone who has been reading a voting and everything else. I can't believe this book has reached 1k reads all ready...I'm completely shocked


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