She can tell those three words turn me on and I know she's trying to hide a smile. Slowly, her hand travels up my chest, starting at my lower abdomen, and working up to the center-making me want to shiver at her light caress. She sticks out her fing...
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Home, I repeat in my mind. I just can't wait to get home, where I can kick off my shoes, curl up under the covers, close my eyes, and sleep for an hour or maybe ten until my brain is fully rested and not feeling like it's about to burst out of my skull.
I arrive at our apartment just as I had started to doze off. I remove my heels when I enter the front door and slip inside quickly. I finally breathe a little easier when the locks are bolted. I drop off my jacket and the rest of my clothes, making a beeline for the couch and burying my face in a terribly tacky, uncomfortable pillow. "Momma," My son calls out, and he walks over to me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. His feet patter against the hardwood floor, and I smile. I sit up, and he crawls into my lap. I smooth his bountiful thick blonde curls away from his baby face, feeling more guilt in and throughout my body lessen at the sight of my son.
"How about we go take a shower, hmm?" I mumbled, lips pressing to the crown of his head. Auggie nods and gets up, grinning back with his teeth showing. He reaches out his hand, and I take it.
I turn on the shower for some relief, sitting under the hot spray of water and feeling the sickness in my stomach and the sinful deed sliding off my wet skin before finally sitting in the scalding hot therapy, letting the water spray at my feet
"I'm so sorry I was gone for so long. Work held Mommy up a little later than usual."
Auggie smiles, turning the knobs down on the shower so it isn't burning hot anymore, and I help him remove his pajamas and underwear before he joins me in the small tub. He snuggles up against my chest as I wash his hair, pressing my lips to his head.
"It's okay." He says, "Bad one?" I never tell him about my cases; he doesn't know what I do for work, but he can always tell me when I'm in a bad mood.
"Yeah." I grab my phone from my jacket pocket and turn on some music. The beat starts to play, and I nod my head along. Auggie looks at me and tries to copy.
"What is this song, mama?"
"Um," I check my phone, "Dedicated To The One I Love, peanut. You lie it?"
"Yeah." Auggie smiles a bit, and I pull him farther into my arms whilst he plays with my hair, kissing my knuckles. I grin, and every last piece of guilt, worry, and anger is pushed back into my mind. Everything I have ever done has been for him, no matter how my job makes me feel; knowing that I can always protect him is so worth it.
After I put Auggie to bed, I snuggle up with him, pulling him into my arms. My mind is racing with thoughts; above all, I see him. His dark curls and brown eyes watching me. He stands above me, his tall, lean figure standing among police lights and sirens and the stench of a hospital room.
I can't bear it. So I turn on the lamp light. My phone pings from the dresser, and I pick it up
Penelope
Another one for you, my peeps
I open the message and stare at the file in front of me. The pictures of the tongues ripped out of the people's mouths, and the bullets still lodged in their heads and chests.
"We will debrief in the morning", Hotch messages back.
I turn it off and set it back on my bedside table. I roll over and hug Auggie as I try to turn off my brain.
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