MY ENDLESS LOVE FOR YOU.

CHAPTER-43

"I am leaving, but I am living."

PRITHVI

Why was talking to my sister difficult for me?

I was standing outside of Gayu's room for an hour. It was not the first time in three weeks. Every day my feet would pause outside her door and I contemplated something in me to encourage me to step inside her room. To see her. All I got was ragged emotions inside as a response. I couldn't hear through the noise.

She manipulated my love and care for her in unimaginable and worse ways.

It was one thing if the issues stayed between us. Even if I was confused with her respect and affection for me as a brother, I handled all the situations on my own. She never used anyone as bait to get through to me.

Since her return, everything has changed between us. She was changed. It seems like I hardly know this Gayathri. I tried to understand her. Her therapist was conflicted too. According to her, Gayu was showing immense progress and even shared her dream life.

This revelation shocked me. Gayu never dreamed of her future. She always lived and did everything in patterns. Any change or things off track of her plan would disturb her. She was deprived of the needful love and care due to constant instability in the family.

Mr. Sooryavanshi was immersed in his business and her mother was a social butterfly. I always thought this family was already in shambles. It was a waste to expect any kind of bonding with them.

After overcoming my resentment and overbearing pain, I might have figured out what was wrong with this equation. Due to his guilt, Mr. Sooryavanshi chose to avoid any family bonding and his wife was aware of Mr. Sooryavanshi's feelings for some other woman. He might have married her but he was always in love with my Ma.

No wonder, she hated my presence as I was a constant reminder of her failed marriage. Gayathri suffered in all of this as a negligent child. If people can't find steadiness and normalcy in their immediate family, they often bring out these aspects by controlling their lives. This was what her therapist had concluded.

Despite these misfits, Gayu was recovering. But her recent choices in life had overthrown all of the progress back to square one.

I want to be angry with her. At the same time, I just couldn't ignore her.

What was the right thing to do?

The fury and sadness crawled back into my veins. My body was locked up with resistance to give in to my earnest urge to walk out of this room, from her. This was the first time in my life that I faced difficulty in confronting the situation. To face the issue, unspoken conversations.

This inner battle of conscience and the safe option was new.

I knew I had to live under the same roof with my angst for Mr. Sooryavanshi. He never had to talk with me about getting what needed to be done in my life. I never waited for him to take on a father role and guide me. I took care of everything on my own.

For years, I knew my love for Jyothika. But I also knew she wouldn't reciprocate my feelings. I assumed it was right to be silent about my feelings for her. She wouldn't take the initiative to decide anything for us. I stepped first in everything.

If she needed a friend, I was always there for her. Whenever the lines between us blurred, she'd step back and I'd take the lead to get us back to normal. I was never someone to run away from anyone or anything.

I always believed it was useless to expect others to take action. Generally, everyone is stuck in the inner circle of Why me first? I didn't ever have that thought. Why not me first? Why wait for others to take the first step?