MY ENDLESS LOVE FOR YOU.

CHAPTER-18

"How strong our relationships would be if we could see and respect that we are all perfectly imperfect for our journey."

JYOTHIKA

"You were not my first choice for Prithvi or even second choice,"

I blink out of the reverie of the past. 

In Dadi ji's room, I was sitting on her bed as she settled several jewelry boxes and expensive sarees. From dead silence to an awkward conversation, the topic that finally prevailed was her choice of Prithvi's bride. My thoughts carried me to the day which was horrible but also for the first time I felt so many unnamed feelings toward Prithvi.

Now, I realize clearly what it was. Jealousy and insecurity.

"What was the pretty girl's name in your group?" She asked before I could reply she recollected. "Kavya, I thought she might be a good match for my Prithvi,"

Even if her opinions wouldn't deter the reality that I was Prithvi's wife, still the insecurities of the past curled around me. I never denied Kavya has all the qualities of molding into any relationship. Hell, even I considered she might be a better choice for Prithvi than me at one point in life.

It doesn't mean the ache was less for being compared to her by your in-laws. I envied her for only this. At the first heed of any danger, I wouldn't hesitate to stand in front of her. But I can't stop this ugly feeling that emerged in my heart at the prospect of her being a better or maybe best choice for my Raj.

Anything but this.

I stayed silent keeping my eyes on the ethnic Sarees she was running her fingers on them delicately. The urge to walk away was pulsing inside but I forced myself to reside. And face it. I want to change the habit of always choosing to walk away from uncertain situations. It was hard but I want to learn. For myself and my future with Prithvi.

"The thought didn't linger as I observed my Prithu. His silence could be mistaken for his disinterest. That's not true. He speaks in front of people, the unknown. He has this conflict to make them understand his intentions and not mistake him.  But he goes silent in front of people that he trusts with his heart," she places a stack of sarees in front of me. 

I hesitantly lift my gaze, and she smiles compassionately. "Because he trusts them with his silence. Feelings don't work on facts or norms. They are unbounded that find their way in search of the right person. And for Prithvi, it's you. Always has been,"

I couldn't help my eyes from tearing up. Jumping over the display of expensive stuff, I hug her. She gets startled, "Ay ladki, apni dadi saas ke saath aise behave karte hai? Kuch bhi sikhaye nahi tumhari ammu ne?"

{you don't realize how to behave with your grandmother-in-law? Didn't your grandmother teach you anything?}

Despite her scolding, she pats my back and I smile through my tears lying my head on her shoulder. Maybe she doesn't know the relief it brought to my aching heart. I need to hear someone close to Prithvi to make me feel- 'I wasn't a random choice but a deserving one. If not perfect for him.'

Someday I'll be.

We part from each other like I expected she behaves as if the emotional moment didn't deter her strictness towards me.

Dadi Ji searches for something, upon finding the velvet box a wide smile radiates from her features. "This is the heirloom I'm going to pass this to Prithu,"

It was a locket in the shape of bright sun. The details in its carving were splendid.

"If it were up to me, I'd have given him long back but he made the excuse that he'd accept once he'd get married. I was grateful he didn't put in the condition of being a father first before wearing this. Though the day shouldn't be far?" she asks the last part with an expectant look at me.