Their Wife

Chapter-70

I woke up to sore limbs and sweet bitterness in my chest. The sun peeking through the windows told me it was already past noon.

Strangely I was feeling better than I was feeling last night. The guilt still tripped my thoughts now and then but except for that, I was not feeling anything—not crane hatred I thought I felt for my captors. I just couldn't believe that I almost.... cried just because Ralph was hurt because of me.

Ralph.

I looked to my side to find the beside empty. My hands automatically moved to the cold sheets and I rubbed the spot: I wish he was here so that I could see if he was alright.

Sighing I pushed myself up, putting my hair in a messy bun and walked slowly to the bathroom. After brushing my teeth and splashing my face with cold water, I decided to skip the shower since I was not feeling like taking one. The warm hoodie which smelled like Killian's, I didn't want to take it off.

Walking barefoot, I stumbled to the living area to find none of my husbands there. I frowned. Where were they? Did they go somewhere? Leaving me unguarded? Even if they were not here, it wasn't like I was going to flee. I did not have the energy or courage to defy them.

I denied it. Several times, or simpler I didn't wish to see it through.

But the truth was, I was falling for them. Every emotion and every feeling belonged to them. I hated them, I loathed them, I envied them for having so much power over me, I was jealous when someone was intimate with them, and now that I almost saw Ralph on the verge of death, I was scared for him. I-I did not wish him to die.

My love for them was beyond the point where hatred was just a needle in the hay.

The conflicting emotions entangled me in a web of confusing reality. My feelings for them were like having a favourite song that played in my heart all the time, which I couldn't help but be obsessed with. It was like finding a cosy blanket for my soul, a comfort that wrapped around me, making everything a little brighter and softer.

I was theirs from the moment their arms caged me.

On the other hand, with little light, I was coming to get used to their darkness, understand them on their terms, and finally realise that their scars were not just scars, they ran deeper than blood and tears, they were their pasts, the cruelty of the world.

And in the end, it wouldn't matter what they were or who they became, all that mattered were the feelings—pure and unbiased, raw and intense, dark and deep, they and for me. Coming to think of it, I also realised neither of them ever hurt me, at least physically. And about the mental trauma, I'd blame myself for that.

I just....my heart squeezed.

I just put my asshole of a father above, I let that predator destroy me. And I didn't remember why I was so upset with his death. He deserved to die.

Alexei was right. I would've killed him twice and many more times with my own bare hands if I could. He killed my mother and he deserved the place in hell.

My eyes moved to the window where I saw the blue sky spreading wide. My thoughts suddenly shifted to the device under the drawer.

I didn't know what I should do now. I did not want to betray Alexei. Why do I do it now? Today was auction and Alessandro would expect me to hand over the information to him, what if I refuse?

Another fearful thought engulfed me. What if he'd hurt Alexei?

I needed to do something about that. I couldn't let him hurt Alexei.

I fixed myself a cup of coffee after a while, neither of them was there. There were pancakes and some roasted vegetables in the oven, I wonder if Alexei placed them there.