Their Wife

Chapter-43

I could feel Jude rubbing the back of my hand as she helped me out. The open garden and fresh air provided me with a false sense of security. Even though it was just for a second. The green garden was devoid of any flowers, just a small patio that seemed unused and cold. Just like my heart.

My jaw clenched as I struggled to get familiarised with the harsh reality. Now it all made sense to me. From the moment I encountered them they knew who I was. Lawrence Williams. Geroge. My father. It was all a web. Web of betrayal and lies. Strangely the guilt I felt for Lawrence and Geroge subsided. The ache was gone. I admit their deaths were brutal, but what they did to Anya was more cruel. How much pain she must be in?

My soul shuddered even thinking about that. Looking up at the cloudless sky, I tried to come to terms with my situation at hand. Even though I knew it was my father who was the real culprit, that did not justify what my tormentors were doing to me. This path could have been different. Only if they decided to rationalise the revenge.

But knowing these cruel husbands of mine, I knew revenge ran deeper than blood.

I nearly scoffed.

Was this the reason for them dragging me into this game of cat and mouse? Did they think hurting me would affect my father? The man whose day starts with hatred and ends with money on his mind? Was I just a tool for their revenge?

There was a strange ache in my chest—tangible and unexpected as I took a deep breath. I wished I wasn't born. This devastating feeling of loneliness was overwhelming. I was used. First by my father, now my husband. Now that my father was dead, did they plan to kill me too?

It should scare me. But strangely it did not. I was no more afraid. Even death sounded calming.

"Do you need me to bring you some water?" Jude asked amidst my thoughts as I unconsciously nodded. She patted my arm and sprinted inside the mansion. I stayed there. Under the patio, amidst the cool breeze. Under the sky and amidst my dark thoughts. What more was left now? How long this madness would go on? Was there any end to this? Was there any hope for me?

The exhilarated suffocation choked me. Unable to sit for a moment longer, I breathed heavily while jerking up. My hands shook like a leaf as I tried not to panic. What was there to panic anyway? My life? It was already a mess, what was I afraid of? There was nothing scarier than my captors.

My heart beat faster as I stumbled down the patio. I needed air. More air. This was suffocating. This whole world was claustrophobic. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't see.

It was all because of my father. No! It was all because of me. Only if I was not born. I shouldn't have taken birth. I should've been dead. Long ago. With Mama. I shouldn't be here. I should've been with her, in her grave. My vision blurred as I felt waves of dizziness taking over me. My stomach churned with uneasiness. Cold sweat drops trickled down my spine as my head throbbed.

"Rara, look at me." Go away! Please. I did not deserve this. I did not deserve your help.

"No, no, no! Go away! GO AWAY!" It felt like—no— I was sinking to the bottom of a deep, deep ocean....and I couldn't breathe. If I breathe, I'd suffocate in water.

Do not breathe, Rara. Do. Not. Breathe.

"Baby, look at me. Breathe. In and out." No. If I breathe, I'd die. I could feel it, between my chest and throat, the weight sucking the air out of me, like a dead fish on the shore. "Rara!"

I did not want to die. Not yet. I had yet to see so many things, explore the world, and get my freedom back. Tobias. I had to see him before I die....Mama. I hadn't visited her in past years, I couldn't die without biding farewell to her. Tears stung my eyes as I felt my body limp. Yes. Let go of everything. Do not breathe. Float till I reach the surface.