Don't Touch Her Act 2: Finding Peace

Chapter Twenty

𝓥𝓲𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓽

He dropped me off at school, and despite everything he said, I still hung around Katie. She was my friend. She wouldn't do anything like that. How could he say such things?

I thought about yesterday, how nice she was to me, how we stayed up late and talked. I couldn't help but think on things he said. I felt confused. She wouldn't.

Clara came and picked Katie and I up once school ended and drove us back, dropping Katie off at her house along the way.

"Violet, are you okay?" She asked once Katie had stepped out from the car.

I nodded.

"You've been very quiet."

"... Just thinking about something," I responded, keeping my head down.

"Do you want to talk?" Clara pulled into our driveway.

I thought a moment, wanting to know her thoughts. But maybe she thought the same way Dominic did or maybe she believed me. I wanted an answer either way. I felt confused. I didn't know what to believe.

Finally, as we sat in the car, I told her everything Dominic had said and then everything I thought, all of this taking over an hour. She had turned the car off a long time ago, and despite the cold and the fact we were both shivering, neither of us moved.

She sat there silently once I had finished, thinking it over.

"I only believe what I've seen, but Dominic has lived with Katie his entire life. He knows her, Violet. And by the way he acts around you, I don't think he would make any of that up."

I nodded after a moment.

Clara sighed quietly. "I- I want to talk about something with you too... About us."

I looked at her, willing her to go on, and hoping she was thinking the exact thing I had been. Hoping she felt the same way I did.

"I don't feel like..." she thought and then rephrased. "I feel like we've been... different," she decided. "Ever since Florida, we don't talk as much, or see each other."

I nodded. "I've thought so too."

"... Why, Violet? I don't know what happened."

"I thought I had done something."

Clara paused, shivered, "I can't help but feel like your attempt was my fault," she admitted quietly. "I feel like I failed. I tried to protect you. I hoped you wouldn't have the same memories I have... It only proved me wrong."

Tears filled my eyes. "No, Clara, no. You saved me from so much."

"Then why did you try to kill yourself!" She blurted, her voice shaking from uncontrolled emotion.

I watched as the tears spilled over her cheeks. "... I wanted to heal... I tried to write it down, but I couldn't. The memories just kept coming and coming." I started crying, feeling silly suddenly. "I thought ending it would bring me some peace."

Clara sat there, looking out the fogged window, trying to stop the tears. She turned slightly, as if wanting to say something, but didn't.

"I never thought about it before, but in that moment... It felt so... I had to. I wanted to." I paused, wiping the tears from my cheeks. "And then Dominic came out and I've never been so thankful... I couldn't leave you, Clara. I can't leave you alone."

She cried harder, loud sobs escaping from her lips.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." I cried harder. "Please forgive me, Clara."

She couldn't say anything, all she could do was nod and hug me.