I exhale a shaky breath.
The air around me suffocating me with its sudden blow.
The bang of the exit school doors echo behind me.
The night dark around me.
How is the sky mirroring my feelings?
The air pierces me like stabs, a piercing punch to the gut.
The freezing breeze entering my lungs, I cough up a storm.
I look up to the light moon above, hiding between the branches of trees. Some leaves take the rake while others stay bare.
I feel disgusted either way.
I hate everything around me once more.
The sky paints a pink glow, blue streaks along with it as the sun sets, but the moon holds her power tonight. The darkness is overlooking the rest. Black sky with a little hint of those bright colors.
The moon has her power tonight!
And I want to die!
I find my way to my car which looks like a shadow in the dark.
Walking underneath the trees, I find myself behind the wheel with the door slamming echoing in my ear. As the actions settle in, the fog following my breath takes my vision and I look down at my trembling fingers. I didn't even know they were cold.
I graze the wheel, feeling the way the bumps ride around the curve before closing my eyes tight.
"It's okay, Nina, it's okay,"
My eyes squeeze shut as I take another shaky breath out, feeling my throat come out of my mouth and the cold air enters my lungs as I inhale.
It's okay.
I try to reassure myself as I decide to focus on the seat I sit on instead. Feeling the cushions, but I can't manage to focus on that either, all that's in my mind is the reminder of the awful confrontation of my feelings toward Andrew. That I'm a horrible person and I haven't done enough.
My eyes squeeze tighter and my lips close over each other.
I try to breathe, but it's getting harder.
And I suddenly feel the cold March air fill the interior of the car and my legs stick together like ice, stuck to the bottom of the car.
I want to cry but instead, I release a whimper.
My breath is still shaky as I try to force myself to be quiet.
I'm not allowed to feel this way. To be sad or to be happy.
I shouldn't be living after what I did to Andrew or rather, what I did to myself.
So I force myself to gulp down my sob and control my breathing to slow down so that it'll be easier to stop completely.
Stop completely
Stop completely
I feel myself drifting away in the feeling
That maybe I can stop living for a moment.
That I can avoid it all.
That my fear takes over me and that I die.
And suddenly everything is dark, just as it always has been.
Suddenly everything stops because I know I don't deserve to be here.
Stop
Stop
Stop ruining other people's lives
My best friends
YOU ARE READING
Sex?
Romance~Your typical high school story. A girl still trying to find her way into the world and happens to come across a boy. This player boy that she has no interest in seems to sweep her away. And that's when you find out you're not as bad or as good as y...
