"Well, um, we could start with… uh," Tom began. We had switched to the living room, right to the entrance, the soft light glowing the dark room as Tom sat on the tempting brown coach as I continued to pace,"well we could start with,- uh-"
Tom kept blubbering with stutters that my anxious pacing suddenly became slow as his voice invaded my steady thoughts, interrupting not only his flow of thoughts but mine.
"Well, uh- we could uh-"
"Tom, spit it out!" I yelled, stoping my pace and causing a bounce to Tom as his eyes widened.
Silence followed as we stared at each other's wide eyes.
His blue worried eyes with mine slowly growing guilty, regretting my outburst.
God, I feel bad for Tom.
I managed a smile.
With that, Tom shook out of his shock with the shake of his head and continued.
"Sorry, it's just that,-" he paused again as he slowly looked back at my curious eyes. He looked away,"it's just, we should start with you know… Uh.. how it … Uh," he stumbled yet again and with my waiting, I realized what he meant to say and I sighed, looking away. He was nervous and he didn't know how to say the words. Mind as well say it for him, anyway- too late- "How did it happen? How did you leave?" his voice was clearer and stronger within himself as he finally said those words.
I didn't answer. I didn't want to revisit the feeling, how, and why, I knew it all came back down to me but I had to hide it and push down within.
I looked down and took a breath.
Shaking my head, I looked back up at him.
"How did it happen?"
He nodded at me.
I sighed yet again, looking away.
I didn't want to tell him and I was about to tell him that I didn't want to tell him but as I looked back up to his eyes, I knew I had to tell him.
And so I did.
With his attentive stare and nodding head, gaze that never peeled from mine while mine faltered multiple times,
I knew that this was going to be the last time I would be able to tell this story so easily. But with Tom, it was simpler.
As I told him how he, my Andrew, or rather, Andrew, crawled in from the window, slept in my bed, kissed me, kept me close, smiled, laughed at our stupid cuddles and jokes. Laughed at whatever. I told him how he told me he loved me, so gently and kindly you'd assume a star had told me, but it was Andrew who did. I told him how I had stood up and yelled. Confused and angry and suddenly ran out. I confessed, I didn't know what I was doing and that right now, I felt I sounded stupid.
But that thought only left Tom to stand up and say, "No, you're not!"
To be honest, that surprised me.
Surprised me so that my recently bulged eyes eased and I managed to crack a smile along with a laugh.
He managed to crack a smile too despite his seriousness towards the subject.
He sat back down while I continued to laugh.
"Well, that's what happened, my stupid ass ran away from a boy who said he loved me," I said as I looked at him through the dimly lit room.
It was silent with that.
I didn't know what to do with that.
He hadn't spoken the whole story time until that one outburst, and I had nothing else to say to fill the silence.
YOU ARE READING
Sex?
Romance~Your typical high school story. A girl still trying to find her way into the world and happens to come across a boy. This player boy that she has no interest in seems to sweep her away. And that's when you find out you're not as bad or as good as y...
