Secrets I Have Held In My Heart

Chapter 12

  "Okay," I sigh as I pour Auggie's dry cereal into his blue bowl. Immediately, he starts using his spoon to pick up the food and shovel it into his mouth, his lap becoming home to Cheerios. And then he starts using his hand, and I would reprimand him, but we're both running late. "And here's your strawberries and yogurt," I say, my nose far away from the small bowl of disgusting food. Auggie laughs. He loves to think it's funny how much I hate the smell of yogurt. He looks at me as if I'm stupid and turns his nose up in disgust. "What?"

  "The strawberries are wrong, mumma," he says as if I'm stupid. And I am because I should know he likes his strawberries in the shape of hearts by now. He's still in his pj's, his curls are all over the place, and I can't deal with this right now.

  "I'm going to give it to you straight, munchkin. You eat this yogurt just this once, and I'm gonna drop you off at Nana's with a big bowl of candy, alright?" His eyes light up, and he gives me a thumbs up before plunging the same spoon he used to eat his Cheerios with, now with his yogurt. God, it's disgusting how much he loves that shit. Once he's done, I quickly grab a washcloth and clean his dirty face. "Alright, Lovebug, time for Nana's. Let's go!" I say as he hops off the stool and heads to the front door.

I grab his overnight bag (more like a two-week bag), and we both quickly run to the car; me all put together for work except for my hair and Auggie still in his pj's and unruly hair. Boy, my mom will kill me when she sees him like this.

I drop Auggie off, kiss him goodbye and get back in my car, speeding off. I'm so late, and I hope they haven't taken off without me. I take a deep breath to keep composure as I arrive at Quantico. Auggie's daycare shut down, so now all the parents have been scrambling to find new ones with spots open, including me. The lack of notice on the daycare's part has left me stumped.

  "Harrison. Lovely of you to join us." Hotch says as I enter the bullpen. Everyone's looking at me, smiles on their faces as I walk in late. I make a crude face at them all and sit down, opening the file before me. Penelope continues her debrief of the killer we're to catch this week as I get situated. I look around at everyone, and it's crazy to think that Hotch and I are the only ones who know who The Hunter is, that Spencer Reid is behind all those gruesome murders, the same guy who can't give you a handshake because of germs.

I realize I've been daydreaming as I didn't hear Hotch say, "Wheels up," Morgan has to tap my shoulder to get me out of my thoughts. "Oh," I say, "Sorry." I pack up the folder and go to the door before Hotch calls me back sternly.

  "Harrison. Have you told anyone about Reid?"

  "Oh, no. Absolutely not." I say.

  "Good. Because I just received this." he gives me his tablet, which holds a video on the screen. I press the play button, and I immediately hear his voice. Talking nonsense about games and shit. His face never enters the frame; the camera focuses on his waist. I don't really hear the video. I can just focus on him. Everything he's showing and everything he's not showing.

  "Why is he doing this? I mean, he could've before. Why now? If he wants to push us to find him..." Huh, I guess I was listening to him a little.

  "I don't know. That's all I got. I tried to have Penelope trace where it was sent from, but he covered his tracks."

  "Smart boy," I say. "Send it to me. I'll try to pick something up."

  "Sounds good." He nods, and I turn around to walk to the jet, but he calls my name again. I look at him, and he's still stern, but sometimes Hotch has this look where you can tell he isn't just cold; he's not just feeling one emotion. What he's about to say is with sincerity. "Thank you for joining me on this case. I mean it."

I give him a tight smile before saying, "You're welcome."