shattered soul [teen wolf]

[chapter fifty three] the story of us might be ending soon

'✧∘* ೃ ⋆｡˚.

Aires pov...

The world was a bitter, dark place.

Everyday I waited for a flicker of light to appear, a sign that things could get better. However I was stuck in a never ending, hollow cycle of darkness. I had been stuck in it since the day Allison died.

Her absence wrapped around my neck like a noose, slowly draining the life out of me. The world had become an insufferable place when she left it. The sun brought no warmth, the stars were not a comfort but instead an aching reminder for who was now amongst them, for who wasn't here anymore.

Everybody else had moved on.

Everybody else had mourned her death.

Everybody else was okay.

And yet I was stuck suffocating, reliving the day she died over and over again. I couldn't move on. I couldn't live again.

I had faced grief before, I had witnessed death after death, loss after loss. However, Allison Argent wasn't just another 'loss'. It was a shattering of my entire universe. The slither of chance to try and live again after her death had died with Derek.

I had lost Allison and Derek, the people who made it impossible to be on this earth without.

Shaking the ghostly memories of them out my head, I quickly smacked a handful of pills into my mouth and swallowed before I could think about what Allison would think, how disappointed she would be.

I think though maybe a part of her would understand, this was how I was still alive, still living. Take them away, and I wouldn't be able to survive anymore. They were what kept me waking up everyday. They softened the blow of everything that tried to drown me.

And now they were gone.

It seemed as if everyone had slipped through my fingers over the past year, the losses were often and every time oh so painful. I had lost Scott, Chris, and I was slowly losing Stiles. We had changed- I had changed.

The Society destroyed me- destroyed us, destroyed everything in my life. It left me broken in a way that nobody and nothing could repair. A ridiculously foolish part of me hoped that there was a slither of a chance we could make it out of the damage, that we could survive what had happened.

Hope was a dangerous four lettered word.

"What happened?" Rhys whispered as he watched me from across the room with a frown on his face.

"I'm just really fucking tired." I choked out in a broken whisper.

"Aires-"

"No. I'm okay. I'm always okay."

"But you're not. You are not okay, Aires Violet Hale. You look like you're dying."

"I'm already dead."

I had nobody left.

Me and Stiles were over the second The Society wiped my memories, it had been over for months and yet I had stupidly clung onto the hope that just maybe it would be okay, that 'love' would be enough to save us. It killed us instead.

I love you.

Three words I will never say out loud again. Not because I don't feel it, but because I cannot say it without being thrown into the whirlwind of every tragic memory that has happened because of those three words.