Vision Quest

33. Nevada Part 3 Something to Think About

POV: Ritu

    We drove separately to the nearby Denny's a twenty-four-hour family/truck-stop type diner. We were seated in a booth and we both ordered breakfast and lots of coffee. I was actually hungry for breakfast even though it was evening. I think Mark ordered it just because I did.

After our coffee arrived Mark leaned back and asked, "So, do you want to tell me about your boyfriend problem?"

"I don't know. I'm having second thoughts about whether it is appropriate."

"Pretend I'm your gay friend and unburden yourself," he encouraged me with a grin. Then he quickly added, "For the record, I'm not gay by the way."

"I guess I really do want to talk about it. Maybe your male perspective might give me some insight."

"I can be insightful, sometimes," he said smiling.

I sighed and gave in. "I just don't know what to make of it. Roger use to be so carefree, always joking, and rarely down. Now he seems just the opposite. He always seems depressed and rarely jokes anymore. Sometimes, he comes up with the craziest ideas. Tonight, he even suggested I should find someone else because he was no good for me anymore."

"The old 'it's me not you' explanation?" Mark suggested.

"No, it wasn't like that. He seemed genuinely conflicted."

"Maybe he is. Being in a war zone like that probably puts a lot of stress on him. The stress probably has him questioning a lot of what he thought he knew."

"So, what can I do? He is on the other side of the world, and we are beginning to talk less and less. I feel so helpless."

We sat in silence thinking, neither of us having an answer, or knowing what to say. The server brought our food, and we began to eat. Suddenly, Mark perked up and said, "You know, I might have an idea."

I stopped eating and looked up hopefully.

"Okay," he began. "It is just an idea. Roger is probably trying to figure out what really matters to him now. Maybe you should help him. Nothing makes us realize how much we want something than when it is taken away. Maybe you should be the one suggesting to Roger that the two of you take a break. See other people maybe?"

"I couldn't do that. What would it do to Roger?"

"It might bring him to his senses. Or maybe he really does want to break up." Mark let that possibility hang in the air while my heart stopped beating. Then he continued, "Actually, I have to confess now Ritu. I'm hoping for the latter. I've had a bit of a crush on you for some time now."

Mark began to blush and maybe so did I. This was a complication I didn't need. "Oh Mark, I don't know what to say. I like you very much as a friend and if I wasn't already involved with Roger, I'd be quite willing to explore that further. But the timing is really bad here."

Awkward silence. Then Mark spoke, "I understand. I'm just saying that the timing might be really good to kill two birds with one stone. Give Roger some time to think about what he really wants while giving us time to explore if we can be more than friends."

I was thinking how could one idea seem so insane and so logical at the same time. I liked Mark. He was easy to talk to and was perhaps even a little better looking than Roger. We really did have a lot in common. We were both very studious. We both planned to go into medical research for all the right reasons. Unlike many premed students, we were not in it for the money or prestige. We truly wanted to help people. Still, he was not Roger, but then again, right now Roger did not seem to be Roger.

"I don't know, Mark. I need time to think about this."