Vision Quest

32. Welcome to Afghanistan Part 2 The New Lieutenant

POV: Roger

    It was about a month after we arrived. Jesse and I had fallen into a regular routine at work. It was mostly manual labor unloading trucks and stocking shelves. Nothing very exciting until the day Jesse came across a rather unusual package in the incoming shipment.

"Get a load of this," Jesse showed it to me. It was a package from some sex shop in the states and it was addressed to Sarge. "We have got to rib him about this." Jesse couldn't contain his excitement.

"Sarge has some explaining to do," I laughed.

"What are you guys going on about?" Sarge barked at us as he came in the room. Jesse simply held the package up for sarge to see. The sex store logo was clearly visible on the outside of the package.

"Oh that," he said not seeming the least bit embarrassed. "It finally got here."

"What is it Sarge?"

"A blow-up sex doll," he answered nonplussed.

"Lonely Sarge?" I asked.

Sarge gave me a look that said get serious and then said, "It was a gag gift for the lieutenant's going away party. It didn't get here in time. I wonder if we can send it back?"

"Wait a sec. Isn't the lieutenant's replacement due in today? Why can't this be the new guy's welcome to Afghanistan? We can inflate it and put it in his bunk," I suggested.

Jesse liked the idea, but Sarge shook his head saying, "You guys can have the doll, but count me out. We don't know anything about this new guy. He may not have a sense of humor."

Jesse and I decided to take the gamble. We got the desk clerk to let us in to the BOQ room reserved for the new lieutenant. We inflated Lusty Laura and put her in the new lieutenant's bed posed in a rather suggestive position. Then Jesse brought out a vibrator and put it between the doll's legs with a note that said, "In case you need help satisfying Lusty Laura. Welcome to. Afghanistan!"

"Where did you get a vibrator?" I asked.

"I got it as a joke for my girlfriend. I was going to send it to her and tell her it was so she'd stay out of trouble. Then I got to thinking she might not find it funny."

"Good decision," I assured him. Our welcome to Afghanistan joke was all set. What we didn't know was that the joke was about to be on us.

The new lieutenant was a woman. The next day everyone in her command received an email thanking whoever was responsible for her welcome to Afghanistan. She said she was a little surprised that grown men in her command were still playing with dolls. Also, she thought everyone should know neither she nor Lusty swing that way. Further, everyone should know that she did convince Lusty to enlist. Lusty would be given a battlefield commission and would now be known as Lieutenant Lusty the base's new Adjutant General Officer. In the future, all personnel related issues and complaints should be taken up with Lieutenant Lusty. The email included a photo of Lusty Laura dressed in an army uniform and saluting with her middle finger. There was a final P.S. saying that she did appreciate the personal massager. Needless to say, everyone enjoyed Lieutenant Jennings sense of humor. Both our new lieutenants were good additions.