Vision Quest

10. The Double Date Part 4 The Ozmen

POV: Ritu (Warning the following is rated immature. It contains adult language, French and a very contrived play on words.)

    The dinner was going nicely. Marie and Donny seemed to be getting along quite well. They were doing all the talking. Roger was unusually quiet. I guess it makes sense that we let Marie and Donny do all the talking since they were just beginning to find out as much as they could about each other.

They had a lot in common. They were both raised Mormon but were no longer practicing. Both were into music but not really professionals, and it seemed to me both were over sexed. I mean, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Definitely not going to be a Titanic night. I was more worried about quicksand.

Their conversation and flirting started as soon as we sat down. "So, Marie, Roger tells me you grew up in France. Is it true what they say about French girls?"

"Sacré Bleu," Marie jokingly cursed and acted shocked. I doubt Marie has ever been shocked by anything someone said. "What exactly do they say?" she asked tilting her head coquettishly.

"That they sure know how to kiss." Donny moved his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"I'll let you be the judge of that later." They both grinned at that response. "So, where did you grow up, Donny?"

"Salt Lake City," he answered almost apologetically.

"So, I am guessing that like most of that city you are a member of the Church of Latter-Day Saints."

"I used to be. Then I discovered I liked caffeine and booze too much."

"Yeah, same for me. You know what they call a Mormon who drinks booze?" she asked.

"Yeah, an oxymormon," he laughed. "So, are you also an oxymormon?"

Roger gave me a questioning look. I explained to him, "Oxymormon sounds like oxymoron, meaning things that don't belong together." Roger shrugged and offered a gratuitous chuckle.

Marie answered Donny, "Yep, chocolate was my downfall. I was never that devout to begin with. I think my parents became Mormon just to escape the ubiquitous Catholicism in France. I'm still into Mormon boys though. You know what they say about Mormon boys, don't you?"

"Sacré Bleu, do tell." Donny parroted Marie's earlier response and leaned in for her reply. Actually, we all leaned in to hear this.

Marie began, "It is probably best explained in the context of the story of when Brigham Young brought the first Mormon settlers to the Great Salt Lake area. They say back then the lake was not a saltwater lake at all, but was, in fact, full of trout and other freshwater fish. Brigham Young sent scouts to check out the area. They reported back that other than the lake, the area was pretty much barren only suited for two things, fishin' and fuckin'." Marie interrupted her own story, "Pardon my French, but that alliteration is always used when the story is told. Anyway, hearing what the scouts said, Brigham Young sent the scouts back telling them to salt the lake. This explains how the lake became a saltwater lake, why it is no longer good for fishing and why Mormon boys have only one favorite pastime."

"And it ain't fishin'!" Donny added.

We all broke into laughter. I admit I was also blushing embarrassed by the rather risqué nature of our conversation.

Marie had to add to my embarrassment saying, "Ritu, are you sure you aren't at least part American Indian? Your skin definitely has a red hue to it." This of course brought on even more laughs and sniggering.

Marie choked back her own laughter turned back to Donny and asked, "So, you are from Utah and Roger is from California how did the two of you come to be roommates?"

"I wasn't originally looking for a roommate. I was trying to put together a band, so I took an ad out looking for other musicians. Roger answered the ad and offered to become the band's bass player. We hit it off and decided to become roommates.

"So, what's the name of the band?" Marie asked.

Roger and Donny both laughed obviously remembering how they had tried to come up with a name. Donny explained, "We initially considered calling ourselves The Wizards. We liked the way it brought to mind mysticism and the occult. We wanted our music to be magic and haunting. Then we decided The Wizards sounded too much like teenagers into playing Dungeons and Dragons; so, we put that idea on hold. Then one day we were jamming to Neil Young's Heart of Gold. I mentioned to Roger that maybe Heart of Gold was the name we were searching for. Roger still on the wizard kick said you mean searching for a heart like the Tinman in the Wizard of OZ? He was searching for a heart. So, I said yeah, and you are like the Scarecrow searching for a brain. So, he started calling me Tinman claiming I was heartless, and I started calling him Scarecrow. That is when we came up with the band name 'Men of Oz' which we shortened to 'Ozmen.' The name was as far as we got. We really needed a Cowardly Lion to be our drummer or maybe our keyboardist."

Marie picked up a couple of chop sticks and began tapping out a rhythm on the tabletop singing, "All we need is a drummer for people who only need a beat."

I gave her an are-you-crazy look, but the guys seemed to get all excited by it. Then she said, "Guys, I can play keyboard and not just chop sticks, and in a pinch, I can play drums. I can be your Dorothy." They all began enthusiastically talking about esoteric music things and planning a jam session. I was starting to feel a bit left out. Chop sticks on a toy piano was as far as I ever got in music.

After dinner we wandered around the casino some, but Donny was totally convinced we were being followed; so, we went to the arcade and played a few games of skee-ball. Donny was still convinced that we were being followed. I admit that in the arcade there did seem to be a couple of guys that seemed unusually interested in us. Or maybe Donny's paranoia was rubbing off on me. Donny suggested we go back to their place where we didn't have to keep looking over our shoulders, also Marie could have wine without being carded and maybe they could have a jam session. This evening was going nothing like I'd thought it would! I had a sinking feeling it was just going to get worse. I had had enough of Donnie and Marie and the Ozmen.