32. Welcome to Afghanistan Part 4 Phoning Home

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POV: Roger

    I usually called Ritu every weekend. The weekend after Jesse was killed I couldn't. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone. I didn't want to even think about it. Besides, I didn't know how to tell her about it or even if I should. She would be even more worried about me, and she didn't need that extra stress. I decided not to tell her.

The next weekend I called and apologized explaining that things had been really hectic and that is why I was unable to call sooner. After fussing at me for causing her to worry why I hadn't called, she forgave me. Still, she sensed something more was bothering me, and I admitted I had a lot on my mind, but that she needn't worry about it. This was the first time I hadn't been completely open with her. Perhaps, this was when we began to drift apart.

Our phone calls slipped to every other week. Not because I didn't want to talk to her, but because I was afraid to. I was afraid I might let something slip that would indicate how dangerous this assignment really was. I was afraid I might have a complete mental breakdown over the phone. Hearing her voice and remembering how much better life had been when I was with her, it was all becoming unbearable.  

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