Humorous Stories

Geoff and Naomi are dead, and they're depressed, but when Geoff's cat Bernie dies as well, they embark on a wild journey to find it in the underworld. ***** When Geoff dies, alongside his girlfriend Naomi, they end up sharing an apartment in the Underworld as skeletons. But after a few years, Geoff starts suffering a mid-death crisis. What's the purpose of going through the motions as a skeleton if you can't really live? Then he gets word that his cat, Bernie, just died and he can collect him and bring him home! Geoff and Naomi hurry to get Bernie only to discover that, due to a clerical error, their cat has been lost. With the hunt for Bernie giving new purpose to Geoff's un-life, he and Naomi begin a quest to get back their cat. Battling skeleton pirates, climbing the sky ladder and facing off against the villain who took Bernie, Geoff is determined to find his purpose - or die a second time trying! [[2018 Wattys Winner - The Originals]] [[word count: 30,000-40,000 words]]

Abe Barrett is surrounded by ghosts - some of them are even his roommates! But now Abe's visions show something dark coming, and it wants Abe dead. ***** When Abe Barrett's family died, he started seeing ghosts. Soon he was living with three of them, and it turns out ghosts are just as eccentric as people. Abe is bothered by the ghosts constantly since he doesn't want to solve their murders, avenge them or do much of anything. He just wants to do his job and relax. His dreams, however, have been getting darker as people in town start to disappear. Soon Abe realizes there is something hunting him, and that same threat was involved with his family's deaths. A legacy of darkness is chasing Abe Barrett, and his supernatural roommates may not be enough to save him. [[word count: 60,000-70,000 words]]

When aliens invade, four baristas are forced to become the saviours of the world. Grab your double-shot of java and strap in - it's going to be a bumpy ride! ***** In the Earth's darkest hour, unexpected heroes are stirring... their coffee, that is. Four baristas on a camping trip are under-qualified to save the world from an alien invasion. But thanks to a hologram with no fashion sense, newly developed superpowers and an alien with a guilty conscience, they've landed the job anyway! So grab your double-shot of java, your blueberry muffin and strap in - Hasta barista, baby. [[2018 Wattys winner and twice featured]] [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]] Please note this is a sample of the book, which has been published and is available for purchase: Ebook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09WKFVKQJ Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1644342154

PERCY JACKSON FANFICTION! Percy Jackson belongs to RICK RIORDAN NOME Eat a Popcorn! 🍿🍿🍿 @all rights reserved

When Willow Mayfair's life falls apart, her mother brings her to Briar Cove, the coastal town where she grew up. Living with Rebecca's childhood friend, a new world filled with love, excitement, and friendship opens up for both of them. This story is for everybody who also dreams of a fairy tale and won't care if the "knights" were a little dirty. "Grab a bunch of broken misfits, chuck them in a tribe, add some glitter and loads of weird-ass garbage, voila, you've got yourself a fairy tale... kinda... just... you know... minus the fairies..." Paisley Davenport This story is my happy place; I do not plan on ever finishing it. It will go on and on like a soapie. I might break it up into volumes later. This book is ideal for forgetting the world and becoming best friends with the characters. Please Note:- I'm currently rewriting this story to edit and enhance parts. I'm also breaking up long chapters. Though the reading flow will not be broken, the chapter numbers will become out of sync at the border between old and new. ♫ Genre: Slice of Life/Romance/Humour This is a slow-burn journey through love and life, filled with an array of beloved characters, their sad moments, happy moments and a multitude of bat-sh#t crazy moments. P.S.: This is not a fairy tale... ♫ This is a work of fiction. Any names or characters, businesses or places, events or incidents are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. TW: Please be advised that this story contains references to violence (sexual and other), drugs, anxiety, mental health issues, abuse and other possibly upsetting themes. Reader discretion is advised. I reserve all rights to my stories. Please do not copy or use my work anywhere without my permission. Thank you.

New characters,a new adventure,and new memories. This story is a funny,action packed,tale.From visiting new places,to meeting new friends.To Paradise Island! is the best story you may have ever read. (So here is a song about it,if it was an intro of a cartoon.Based on Tiny Toon adventures.Look it up) Mr.D:We're tiny... Vicky:We're toony... Everyone:We're all a little looney,and in this cartoony,we're invading your TV! Mr.D and Vicky:We're comic dispensers... Mr.D:We crack up all the censors... Everyone:On our adventures get a dose of comedy! So in Cartoon World ,it's a whole wide world apart,it stands alone,our home sweet home,a cartoon work of art! Jestah:The scripts were rejected,so expect the unexpected... Everyone:In this adventure,it's about to start! Mr.D:Here's Jestah... Vicky:And Vicky... Mr.D:And her sister's Yicky... Everyone:Fatty's(Fantoccio)unlucky,and Gogo(Dribodod)is insane! We're tiny,we're toony,we're all a little looney It's time for our adventures,come and join the fun! Mr.D and Vicky:And now our song is done! (Enjoy! :3 (More stories\adventures in the future! ;) ) (PS:I do NOT own any of these characters except Mr.D,Vicky,and Yicky.The others are from Nintendo\Gamefreak\Creatures(Pokemon and Mario),SEGA,DC\Art Baltazar,Billie Bust Up,Popee the Preformer,(PSS:This story involves some YouTube creators)Shiloh and Bros,Forever Nenaa,Jaiden Animations,CaptainSauce,Markiplier,SMG4,and Luigikid

🎬 Kidnapped Romance YouTube Channel: UCb0EOwy75EU8UQVbvkI-H8A ⚠️ An innocent beauty... and a famished beast. She was running. Branches slapped her cheeks, the gnarled root of an old tree suddenly caught her foot- She crashed to the forest floor with a gasp. The pain shot through her ankle like a blade, but she didn't stop. She pushed herself back up and ran again. A low-hanging branch snagged her veil-rip! Grazed her shoulder too. Still, she ran. Her breath came in broken gasps. She glanced over her shoulder. No one. Only the sound- Heavy thuds. Boots crushing dried leaves behind her. Her bare feet bled as she stepped on a brittle twig. She winced, stumbled, but didn't stop. Her heart was beating in her ears. Louder. Louder. She bit down on her lower lip, tasting blood. Suddenly- Thump! She crashed into something hard. "Ow!" she gasped and staggered back, thinking it was a tree. But it moved. A towering figure was in front. She froze. Then- "No!" she whimpered, trying to back away. Too late. A brutal tug on her hair jerked her head back. "Where to?" His voice was low and cold, his hand clenched tightly in her hair. "Leave me!" she screamed, struggling violently. He started dragging her. "Let go of me!" She fought back, landing a weak punch on his stomach. "Bitch," he spat. "Shut up before I loose all my patience with you." And then- He flung her up and threw her over his shoulder like a sack. In the moonlight, he looked some big bad Werewolf. "Put me down!" she cried, punching his back, clawing-but his skin felt like stone beneath her fingernails. He halted again. And dropped her. She hit the dry ground. Before she could crawl away, he knelt beside her- Then straddled her, his shadow engulfing hers. "No," she whispered, going deathly pale. Eyes wide. Lips trembling. Heart shattering inside her chest. An innocent beauty... A famished beast. ⚠️ This isn't just romance. It's survival. 🥇#1 in Spiritual - many times. Alh

This is a satire inspired the great George Orwell's "Animal Farm" but with a lighter ending like Kurt Vonnegut would do in his novels like "The Sirens Of Titan". Somewhere in a small forest, just out of city limits, is an angry little sparrow who learns what an economy is by observing the humans. He puts those capitalistic methods to practice with the Oak Trees' natural acorn production cycles to take advantage of the Squirrels with debt and interest. The little sparrow uses the help of the other birds to make his economy the best in any forest!

6 best friends find out that they are the long lost heirs to the six elemental kingdoms: fire, air, earth, water, lightning, and space. Long ago, these kingdoms had succumbed to darkness, one of the two ancient elements that had come long before the others. However, once its equal element, light, saved the kingdoms and defeated the darkness, it swore to rise once again. Fast forward 17 years later, these two elements have been reincarnated. Let's see what happens next... *Disclaimer: I only own the plot, the characters, and the places in the story! There will be multiple references to pop culture!* *Cover credits to the creator of this photo!* (A/N: Sorry in advance, but there are a lot of swear words in this because one of the characters does it a lot!)

The king of Auradon may not be as perfect as he seems... Does he mind you spying on his conversations? Shhhh he doesn't know you are...

All of the Nintendo people are making group chats! Villains plot against their enemies, Joksters play pranks, and the girls gossip. What will these crazy group chats do? More importantly, what do they have to say about what's going on in the Nintendo world? *I will try to include a lot of the Nintendo characters. *This book will include Kooky Von Koopa, as Ludwig's twin brother, and my Oc, Luna.

An asset to President Ann Kinji in the past, Serena is snatched in Germany and brought back to the United States for a covert mission run by former government agents. As the case draws her ever closer to the conspiracy to kill the president, she reaches out to the criminally insane for help, sinking deeper and deeper into a rabbit hole where the bodies are piling up and nothing is as it seems. Is there hope for this divided nation riddled with conspiracies, power-hungry government and criminal politicians? Can Serena save the day with her unlikely cast of vigilante and rogue agent heroes?

Emily isn't normal. Why? because she is half witch half werewolf. She's a powerful and gifted girl with no family or pack which isn't very promising for a sixteen year old teenager. All her life she has been lied too and now, lets just say some shit is about to go down and soon. But what will happen when she gets sent into care? How will she survive public school for the first time? and how will she react when she finds out that the lady she now has to live with is the mother to her mate? and that her mate is sleeping a room away every night? But, how will she cope when he manages to bring back memories that should of stayed buried? READ ON TO FIND OUT!

Book Descriptions are so Irritating. If you want to read a book, just read it. Why do you want to know the description? -That's Kai, and this is his story. Excuse me, whoever is writing a shit of my life, get your head checked. What's there to even write about my life? -A book unlike any other, focusing on Kai's monologues of life and his journey to find his purpose in life. Excuse me, what!!!, That makes me seem like I am depressed, I am fucking not!!! -Join him on his journey of badminton and contemplate thoughts about life. It's not that deep, dude, stop!!! -Junior school last year arc is undergoing.

We all know that every fairytale story starts with a 'Once Upon A Time' but with this story we must continue with something different, because this no ordinary fairytale. This is a story about a Girl who has been saved by 4 bad boys, who have changed her life for the better. They go through happiness, sadness, fear, anger and somewhere along the way a little bit of love. This is her story, but be warned not every fairytale has a happy ending. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "You can let go of me now..." I said staring straight into his gorgeous green eyes, not once breaking eye contact He smirked, then tightened his hold on me. "No can do sweetheart" he glances at my lips, causing me to unconsciously lick them. He groans under his breath knowing only I can hear it not his fellow "brothers" or whatever he calls his friends. I bite my lip, innocently. Smirking inwardly "Did it hurt when you crawled out of hell?" I say while batting my eyelashes obnoxiously He raises an eyebrow coaxing me to continue. I then grin, "because when I'm done with you, you're going to be crawling right back to it." I then proceeded to kick him in balls, and then when he bent down holding his precious family jewels. I then punched him square in the face. .... .... .... And it hurt like a motherfucker! •-------------• *mature language, and grammar mistakes and is also first book I have ever written.. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK....* •Currently redoing as of November 9th 2020 :) more updates to come :)

TWICE is not TWICE if they're not TWICE! Explore the goofy and humorous lives of our favorite TWICE members and entertain yourself with their unique characteristics.. - Jokes - One shots

We moving ever closer to the end of this year... Can you believe it??? This time last year I was scrambling to find my way through the maze that is Wattpad... Busy as I could be trying to reach as many readers as possible... Reformation, and since I only had one year and several daze experience as a writer making it monumental task... Feet firmly planted, writing style and technique ever evolving I have enjoyed numerous milestones in short time in this community of highly talented artist... I have one goal that have eluded me. In the first six months of 2016 I topped 1K reads five of those months. I really am trying my best to get one more 1K+ read month. I have two months and no idea what my content will be... Thanks for supporting me and maybe, just maybe I'll my goal with your help... Thanks again everyone... Rated 236 in poetry January 4, 2017

I have taken the HORRIBLE, AWFUL, Ratatouille rip off, Ratatoing, and rewritten it to make it not so... terrible. In my version, Marcel is a complete jerk, and a horrible boss. He's lazy, and does the one thing that rats are not supposed to do: steal from humans. I've made the characters have more 3 dimensional personality traits, and given the story an actual plot with funny jokes. Is it perfect? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Is it better than the original? Yes. I mean to be fair, literally anything is better than that absolute brain rot. This took me like 5 months to write, I'd love for you to give it a read man. 😭 Cover is based on Ratatoing cover. Plot and characters based off Ratatoing.

What kind of fan would a nip-cat trap if a nip-cat kidnapped man? I know what you're thinking: "Who's the nip-cat? Who's the man?" The man is Sammy McGuinness, a professional businessman who prefers suits to shorts and ties to lies. I'm sure you know the type: He's the guy who makes your boss sweat because his efficiency is more boss than your actual boss. He's the mannequin who goes in to work Monday morning with a smirk on his face because work is more fun than having actual fun. He's the jerk who makes you look like a time thief because you stopped by the watercooler for a minute. Yeah, you know Sammy. You've probably dealt with Sammy. Maybe you hate Sammy. But, perhaps, Sammy also hates Sammy because Sammy has a secret that he cannot shake, one that makes him very angry, very angry indeed. Question is: Can the happiest place in all the land make him happy again? The nip-cat, meanwhile, is Nippy the Cat, the world-famous animated cat who stars in his own "Wacky Fuzzies" universe and is mascot to the happiest place in all the land, the amusement park called Happy Fun Land. Yep, you know him, too: Nippy is wacky; Nippy is fuzzy. And Nippy is about to kidnap the world's unhappiest businessman. But how? And why? And what will happen when the world's most professional businessman realizes that he's been taken by a fool? Is it possible that Nippy the Cat is hiding a secret of his own? Will the world's most jaded businessman figure it out? And, will it change everything the world knows about Happy Fun Land? "Amusement" is the story of lies and justice, of cats and men, and of class battles at their most absurd. In a world where one powerful theme park rules the people and knock-off brand names demand their unquestionable trust, just remember, no matter who you are, or why you're there, nothing at this park is ever free, and no matter what you do to resist it, Happy Fun Land will always find a way to make you pay.

Bucky is finally free from Hydra and Hydra is finally destroyed thanks to the advengers. Bucky can niw live his new life as an advenger with his bestfriend Steve. Bucky starts fresh but he still has nightmares about how much people he killed. Steve always help him through it and never leaves his side because they are pals till the end of the line. There's just one problem they didn't take care of....... The advengers thought Hydra was no longer but boy were they wrong. Hydra just needed some time to finish they new weapon since Bucky got away. They trained the weapon to kill and aim. The weapon killed many people in there life because of Hydra and 'it' wants to stop killing. Of course it can't because Hydra keeps putti g stuff into 'its' mind and any time 'its' on a mission, they attach a bomb that can trigger if 'it' trys to escape. Bucky try's to find out who this new weapon is and how Hydra's still alive. While Bucky's at it, he notices that the new weapon killed more innocent citizens then him so he knows the weapons more advanced then him when he was apart of Hydra. When they finally find the hydra base and try to destroy it, they will have some BIG trouble on the way. They finally get to meet the new weapon but it wasn't what they were expecting. Really Bucky. The weapon was much stronger, faster, and stealthy then Bucky but that just means 'it' was more scared, weak, and frightened then him. Bucky try's to help the new weapon because he knows how it feels to be kept hostage and alone without help. It's terrifying. Will he fall for the new weapon while he's at 'it' or will he end up killing 'it'. What will happen when the advengers know that Hydra still stands? What happens when there are so many people getting killed but they have no idea who's causing it? Will they find the cause of the murder? Will they find the murder? What will Bucky do about the new weapon they have? I don't own the advengers so give me no credit but I own the weapon so thank you!