Together For Ever

Part 42

Sanjana's POV

I woke to realize to be in travel, I slightly got panicked but was soon relieved when I saw papa and Shaam. I had a vague guess this should end in the hospital and proving my assumptions they took me to the doctor and from there they moved to a psychiatrist. There she has prescribed some medicines and was advised to appear for counseling. I didn't open up when the doctor had a personal session with me as I know it won't be of no use. So at this point, I decided to behave like they expected me to. If not they will take my kids away from me stating this point, so I need to be more cautious. When I reached home, I took a shower and prepared myself to be with the kids. I know Piku needs me the most, but I can't ignore Dudu also. They need me, I have to be strong for them, with all these thoughts I too slept with them. At some point, I realized Shaam was there in the room with me all while, but never disturbed my thoughts.

Dudu's whining sound brought me back to reality, I took him immediately so that Piku won't get up. But my Piku was faster than me, he started his sobbing session. Shaam woke up hearing this and told me to handle Yedhu and took Piku out. I was slightly relieved when he went out giving me privacy. I took my time to handle my Dudu, as I hardly get time to spend with him. After having a little chit-chat and play session with him, I went out to check on Piku. There I saw Shaam walking with Piku, sensing my presence outside Mom also followed me and I gave Dudu to her and took Piku, and went inside. I gave him a hot water bath, changed his dress, and took him outside. Later I asked mom to look after Piku and gave a bath to Dudu and made him wear the same dress as Piku and took him outside where Piku was. I placed both of them in the baby mat and let them get some sun rays as it was evening.

After dinner, when I was setting and arranging the kid's dresses, Shaam came inside. I expected this from the time, we returned from the hospital. He told me that he will never take my kids away from me and will be with us for everything. I didn't give any reaction to this as this is something that I expected. But when he said that he will shift to Trivandrum and it give me a slight shock as I'm unaware of plannings. I was in my thoughts and don't know what to do or say, I really don't want to melt in his words and change my decision. When I was thinking about my current situation, I felt like crying and I can't share my thoughts with anyone. I was in a lost state and I needed someone to console me without asking about my problem. I don't what made me do that, I stood up and went to Shaam and hugged him from the back, I tightly hugged him and cried. When he didn't ask me anything, I felt good so I cried my heart out to get relief.

He took me back to bed, then only I came to know that he turned back and was hugging me. He made me lay beside Piku and was about to go out and I asked him to stay back. He said he will be back after making some calls, so I nodded and he went out. When Piku slept, I moved him to the crib and stuffed soft toys beside him, feeling like someone's present so that he will become less dependent on me. Shaam returned when I was setting his crib and stood with me for some time and we went to bed. Like always he held me in his hands and I felt it to be a safe zone, but I don't know what he feels when he does this, may out of sympathy he is doing this. I can't force him to stay with us when we are not having any mutual feelings. If he throws us out later and it will affect my babies if we get used to him. So it won't be a good idea to stay with him.

Shaam took me to counseling sessions in the upcoming days, and it felt good to be motivated. I didn't open up to them, and they didn't pressurize me but they motivated me and helped me in taking new decisions. I planned to do some training on the latest technology and get back to a new job once the kids are 6 months old. Now they are only 2 months, and I have 4 months to get myself prepared. So I started searching for courses that will be suitable for me to attend along with taking care of kids. Finally, I shortlisted a course of 3 months which will provide openings along with the completion of training. But the main benefit was they were soon starting a batch that will have classed only on Saturdays and it will be a full-day class, so I opted for that as the training center is in Trivandrum, and I have to travel 6 hours to and fro. But it is only for a day and I'm sure Mom will handle the kids on this day.

I opened up this plan to my Mom and Dad when Shaam left after 2 weeks. They supported and did the necessary arrangements for the course as this will give me a change of mode. I prepared myself for the new start and trained Piku to stay without me for a few hours daily which showed the result gradually.