Together For Ever

Part 41

Shaam's POV

We took her to the doctor, and as planned Mom and Anju stayed with the kids at home. We took her to the hospital and the doctor suggested one of her friends who is a psychiatrist who practices at home. As per the doctor's findings, Sanju is having postpartum depression, and better to have counseling and light medications, the best we can give is complete support from our side. She already gained consciousness when we moved to the hospital, but she didn't utter a single word after and stayed like a hurt kitten in my hands. I patted her sometimes and made her lean on my shoulders and hold her tightly assuring my support. After the consultation, the doctor advised coming every 2 days for counseling will be better. So we returned home, all this while she remained silent, and don't know if she talked anything to the doctor in their one-to-one conversation.

Once we reached home, her mom took her to the room where the babies are, as expected Madhav gave them hard time and slept after a lot of crying. Sanju didn't talk much, she replied to everything we asked them, she took a bath and slept with the kids, and all this while I stayed in the room with her. When she slept, I told her mother about the doctor's suggestion and remedies. I decided to talk to her once she is up. After that, I too slept for some time and woke up hearing the crying of Yedhu which lead to wake Madhav. I saw that she is handling Yedhu, and I immediately took Madhav in my hands and walked out informing her to take care of Yedhu first and come out and take Madhav later. Once I moved out, I told mom the same and took Madhav to the garden area where he looked at the sky and the colors. 

After a while, she came out with Yedhu followed by her mother, she gave Yedhu to her Mom and took Madhav from me, and went inside. Mom told she didn't say anything to her, I assured her that I will talk to her. That day went in a hurry, I made sure that Sanju took food and medicines at right time. Later at night when I come to the room, the kids already slept and she was arranging things, folding the kid's dresses, etc. I locked the room and went to her side, made her sit on the bed and sat on a chair opposite to her, took her hands in mine, and started talking.

Me: Sanju, I know we didn't have a good start and we lack many things in our relationship. But I can't rectify the bygones but will make sure that I will be with you and our kids for everything hereafter. I won't make you feel alone. You are a strong woman! then how can you do this and think like this? Did I ever try or say something that makes you feel like, I will take the kids from You? They are our kids Sanju, they need their mother and father. Mother is having a major part in a child's life. I really won't do anything that will separate my children from you Sanju. Once you are ready, we will move into our new home, which will be in Trivandrum where you can restart your job if you wish to continue. I am asking for a transfer here so that we can stay together and take care of our kids together and lead our life.

She didn't say anything, simply sat there looking into my eyes. I expected her to say something but she didn't. I stood up and moved back the chair placing it in the position when I felt her hugging me from the back. She was crying, she cried a lot and I let her so that she will get some relief. I turned back when I felt like the intensity decreased and hugged her back and gently patted the back of her head. She didn't say anything and I didn't feel like asking. So when she stopped crying, I took her to bed and made her settle beside Madhav. The poor little fellow is looking at the ceiling where the stars and moon of the night lamp are moving, sometimes laughing, sometimes making a crying face, who is in his own world. Yedhu already slept in the crib maybe will wake up later. 

I checked on Yedhu and was about to go out, but she asked me to stay with her until she sleep. I said I will be back after making a call, by that time she can feed Madhav and make him sleep, to which she nodded and I went out. I called Sam and informed my situation and discussed my plans of asking transfer. He told that he will help with that and approved my leave for another 1 week. I called Dad and informed the situation and my decisions. He was happy with that and even suggested, that they will come and stay with us for a while.  After making the call, I returned to my room, where I find Sanju putting Madhav also in his crib and stuffing his toys beside him. I went to her, she said she is training Madhav to sleep alone. I put my hands on her shoulders and stood there and watched the arrangements. When she was satisfied, she went back to bed.

I expected her to open up, but she didn't. She stayed in my hands and slept soon and woke up whenever the kids cried. I realized how difficult is to handle the kids at night. They will cry at frequent intervals and she needs to feed them and put them back to sleep again. So she is not getting a good and proper rest, and in addition to her insecurities, her lack of sleep made the situation worse. The next 2 weeks went like that without any new issues and her counseling and medication worked effectively. She is somewhat back to the normal Sanju whom I know but not completely because now sometimes she zones out. When I felt like she is okay to handle herself, I returned to Mumbai to move my paper works of transfer. I told her to decide on her future plans by the time I will be back. Her mom assured me that she will inform me immediately if anything happens and will take complete care of her.