Super Dragon Ball: Paradise Hysteria

Wedding Crashers

"So, how do you know Yamcha?" a blonde in a glittery champagne-colored dress wondered. Chayote had no clue where she came from or who she was. Then again, she could've been a friend or family of the bride's.

"We're... Well, we were colleagues for a while, we tried dating for a bit but that was a hilarious disaster..." Chayote grumbled, lamenting each second interacting with this airhead who reminded her what a mistake it was to come here. It'd have probably been pretty awkward if both Satan and Videl attended Yamcha's wedding but not Chayote, a longtime friend of the guy's, especially given that the three lived under one tall and wide roof.

"Oh my gosh, you're a superhero too!?" the woman gasped. "That's crazy! You know, Yamcha and I used to date too. It's just that he took off to save the world and never called me back... When did you two start dating?"

"Look... Ma'am..." Chayote tried to behave. Against her better judgment, she did her best to restrain herself and her wrathful tendencies so that she didn't rip her dress apart out of respect to Satan who insisted to pay for every inconvenience Chayote would have just so she attended the wedding and didn't grump her way out of it. "I don't even know who you are."

"Oh, my name's Crystal, did Yamcha ever mention me to you? I wonder why he never called me back. Could it have been my job? I knew that telling him I sell car insurance on the first date was too soon. You don't just drop that on people without softening the blow first..." Crystal got all up and over Chayote's personal space before backing up herself and snapping her fingers with a frustrated expression.

"Huh? What was that about insurance?" Krillin's sharp and easily distinguishable voice made Chayote turn her head back. Even if her friend approached her in the company of a cybernetically augmented human assassin and infiltrator he called his girlfriend nowadays, Chayote easily preferred this company over being a part of Yamcha's leftovers club. "I happen to be looking for a way to get my old job back. A man's gotta earn his bread if he's to feed a wife and a kid, after all..."

"Oh? You used to sell car insurance too?" Crystal clapped her hands. "And you seemed to have struck so high up and above your league too! How did you do it?"

"I don't like her. Somehow she complimented me and degraded me by suggesting my taste in men sucks in one sentence..." Lazuli leaned to Chayote's side with a half-handed mutter.

"Car insurance, nah. I used to sell life insurance," Krillin chuckled after taking his hat off and fondling it awkwardly in his hands. "Since then, I took up a more nomadic lifestyle looking for Lazuli, I became a police assistant, which paid almost nothing. I guess you could say it crossed out my own life expectancy..."

Krillin and Crystal both burst into laughter with the blond bombshell curling up in laughter and having to place her champagne glass back onto the nearby table so that she didn't end up showering in it after losing her balance this badly. Chayote and Lazuli both shared weirded-out looks before turning back to Crystal and Krillin.

"You guys wouldn't get it, it's an insurance people in-joke..." Krillin waved it off.

"You haven't sold people insurance for around two years now," Chayote squinted.

"Even when you did, you sold people different kind of insurance..." Lazuli crossed her arms with a capricious pout before grabbing Krillin's elbow and dragging him a bit further away.

"So, have you met the bride yet? She seemed so hardcore and scary. I'm worried she'll abuse poor Yamcha," Crystal scanned the room before fixing her suspicious look on the woman in a puffy and extravagant white dress that didn't suit her almost tomboyish short red hair.

"Sorry, the last girlfriend I've seen him with wasn't even invited to this wedding and that was a couple of years ago, so I'm not bothering getting to know them anymore. In any case, my only purpose at this wedding is to be seen so that I don't have to bother with annoying questions about where I was when we have to fight some alien or demon or cyborg or whatever..." Chayote flipped the champagne glass and held the sizzling liquid bubbling in her mouth so that the fizz can distract her from the need to smash her way out of here.