The life of Jessica Stark (Bucky x OC)

Chapter 31

(Jess's POV)

I went out for a walk to clear my head after the last 24 hours being a whirlwind of emotion. I think about what Bucky said and how it broke my heart to hear him say it but I knew the consequences of me coming back and I did it anyway for selfish reasons

*Jess, can you please come back to the tower?* Loki's voice rings in my head

*What?* I ask him just to confirm, worried I imagined it

*We want you to come back home* He clarifies. I immediately turn around and head back on myself, practically running back home

When I get back to the tower and onto my floor, my family are sitting in the exact same position like they were too scared to move. I notice Bucky and Steve stood in the kitchen, literally as far as he can get from me. I walk into the room and my dad stands up immediately

"I just got you back, please don't run away" he says mournfully

"Pietro and Vision talked to sense into us" Natasha says, standing up to meet my dads side. I look over at Pietro with tears in my eyes, he shakes his head and rushes over to me holding me in the first hug I've had in months, I melt into him as tears prick at my eyes

"I told them about what Fury did with me and that he put me in the exact same position" He says as he pulls away and all I can do is smile thankfully. I turn around to my family with tears in my eyes

"I tried to leave, I really did!" I say looking at them all "I fought so hard for you, all of you but as time when on and you all started moving on and I just thought to myself if I did show myself I'd be doing it selfishly and if one of you ended up hurt then that would be on me" I feel Pietro snake his arm around me and guide me back into my seat in front of everyone "I was so alone, the only time I was let out of that room was to be used for missions then shoved back in there. Nick kept me company some of the time but I read his mind, he wasn't there for me he felt like he was obligated to do to so in some misguided way to make up for how he treated Natasha" I look over at Steve and Bucky who are watching me from the kitchen, but I focus mainly on Bucky

"I was grieving too, I didn't speak or leave my bed in seventy five days and I barely ate, I was alone and I was depressed too!" I cry at him. I make the safe decision and block out everyone's thoughts and feeling and just allow myself to feel "If had to choose between death and what I went through, I'd choose death no contest"

"Jess don't talk like that!" Steve shouts from the kitchen, taking a step forward but remaining close to Bucky

"It's the truth Steve" I look over at my dad feeling immensely guilty "Dad, I..."

Before I could finish, the elevator dings and Peter walks out

"Bucky sir, what are you feeding Alpine because she-" He looks directly at me then at my dad then back at me again "No..."

"Peter..." My dad walks over to him

"NO!" Peter just shouts back "YOU DIED, YOU SHOULD BE DEAD"

My heart physically hurts hearing the boy that is every bit my little brother say that I should be dead

"You're not real" He begins to cry "I don't believe that you're real"

I look over at Bucky who has his head down, and I realise that he's right. I've caused so much pain to the people I only wanted to save