Dear Diary | Chacha

Im okay

                      ~Chapter 113~
Im okay

Chases POV:
no no no no no no.
No?! That's what happened! I remember! She spiked my drink... I was- I don't really remember but I remember some parts- She gave me the Gatorade and as I was walking to class- everything went blurry and I couldn't even stand up straight. It was like I was drunk but 100 times worse.

I could barley even talk. I remember- I was shoved in a closet. From there it's really blurry but I still remember small bits and pieces...

She raped me.

Sarah raped me...

Chase: "I- I gotta- I need to go."

I quickly walked past him to the bathroom, my breathing increased and I began crying.

I tried to be nice... I wanted to let her down easy... She roofied me. I just wanted to do the right thing.

I started crying more until I had a hard time breathing.
I stopped myself and took out my phone

"I don't feel so well. Won't be at school for a bit. Sorry."
I texted Charli

I feel horrible. I remember the way she touched me... I couldn't defend myself. I tried. I really did. But I couldn't.

I never thought this would happen to me...

I looked at the celling

what did I do? What did I do to deserve this? Why me. I didn't do anything wrong. Why did this have to happen to me.

I feel disgusting. I need a shower.

I took a deep breath in and then out.

I'm okay. Maybe this is all a misunderstanding... maybe Justin was lying and maybe the Gatorade Sarah gave me was real. Maybe I wasn't roofied.

I wiped the tears from my eyes.
I'm okay.

I left the bathroom trying my best not to cry. My phone buzzed

"Tell me what's happening? Are you okay? I want to help"
She texted

No I'm not okay? But what am I gonna tell her? I think I might have been raped by your friend? I'm not telling her that. she's got enough to deal with. She's got enough problems in her own life, she doesn't need mine.

"I'm okay. Just got a headache"
I replied

I walked out of the school and on my way out I saw Sarah...
I walked towards her and sighed

Chase: "what did you do to me"
Sarah: "I don't know what you're talking about."

She's lying??

Chase: "what was in the Gatorade?"

She spiked the Gatorade then shoved me in a closet.

Sarah: "Gatorade was in the Gatorade"

Nobody is around. Why can't she just tell the truth?

Sarah: "I don't know what your trying to accuse me of but I did nothing. Plus don't pretend like you didn't want it, all guys want sex."

She did do it... I knew it... I knew she did it...

Chase: "sure I want sex?? With my girlfriend! I don't want to be raped by some random girl I barley know!"

I couldn't help but let the tears escape my eyes

Sarah: "call it whatever you want. It wasn't rape."

I was practically unconscious, I barley even remember a full second of what happened, I couldn't defend myself, I couldn't even talk. She raped me.

Chase: "please- please just don't talk to me again"
Sarah: "why do you even care that much?! It's not like you can remember anything!"

I don't care if I can't remember anything! I know that she touched me and forced me to do things that I didn't want any part of!

Chase: "I could tell the cops you know..."
Sarah: "and who is gonna believe you?"

Maybe someone will...

Chase: "Just... please... don't do that again..."

But she's right... I can't call the cops... no one will believe me...

I quickly walked away in tears and left the school. I got on my bike and for the first time in a long time I went home. My home.

Once I arrived back i felt even worse thinking about everything that happened today and everything that happened yesterday.

I opened the door to the house and when I saw my mom
I wiped my tears

Miss Hudson: "What are you doing back early from school? What's wrong?"

I started crying even more, she walked towards me and hugged me

Chase: "I- I try so hard-"
I sniffled

Chase: "I- try so hard to be nice to everyone"

I put my arms around her

Chase: "why am I the one who always gets hurt"

I just want to make people happy and yes it's exhausting some times but it's worth it... but bad things still happen to me no matter what I do...

Miss Hudson: "tell me what happened, baby"

I shook my head

I don't want to tell anyone.

Chase: "I'm okay. I'm good."

I took my arms off her and wiped the tears on my face. I put on a smile and walked up to my room.

Miss Hudson: "Chase..."

I don't need to burden anyone else with my problems. They're my problems. No one else's.

I opened the door to my room and walked inside. I laid back on my bed and looked at the ceiling with my eyes wide open thinking about everything.

I stayed there for hours thinking about it, I didn't even notice the time go by.

I heard a knock at my door at I don't know what time. I didn't bother to say anything.

Charli: "Chase it's me. Im just checking in to see if your okay"

I said nothing.
She opened the door slowly

Charli: "are you okay?"
Chase: "yes."

I'm fine. It's not a big deal. I'm doing just fine. I don't even care.

She walked to my bed and sat down
She laid down next to me and I wrapped cat arms around her waist and laid my head on her stomach

Charli: "I don't expect you to tell me what's up with you. But I just need you to know I'm here for you, always."

A/n
Aw🫶🥹🥹🥹🥹

So sad, don't worry. It will get even worse for chase 😄

Ah it's chases birthday rn

Chapters left - 7
Word count - 1023