Dear Diary | Chacha

He'll never change.

                   ~Chapter 64~
          HE'LL NEVER CHANGE

Charlis POV:
After I told him that, we didn't talk the entire way home. He seemed worried about what I was gonna say.

To be honest... I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him? Am I getting back with Justin? Am I not? I have no idea. But I'm gonna tell him my thought process and I'm gonna tell him what Justin said to me. He deserves to know, not because I want his opinion but because he's in this with me. And if I get back together with Justin we're gonna have to stop fake dating, and if we stop fake dating that means that this whole thing was for nothing. We both ended up right back where we started.

When we arrived at Chases house, he quickly snuck me in, past his parents and up to his room.

We both got inside and stood there quietly.

I sat down on his bed and laid back.

I don't wanna talk right now. I need to think.

Chase: "what are you thinking..."

I don't know if I'm ready to talk about this yet.

Charli: "nothing..."

He looks beside him and looked at me

Chase: "just tell me whatever you're gonna tell me Charli"

I sighed

He's not gonna care right? Not too much? It's not like this is the biggest choice of my life. If anything he will be happy for me.

Charli: "I think I'm gonna get back together with Justin..."

He looked at me like I was crazy
Like he was seeing a ghost.

Chase: "you're kidding"

I shook my head

Charli: "you have to understand the story-"
Chase: "no?? No! I don't wanna hear the story charli?? He's manipulating you! Again!"

I put my head in my hands and shook my head

Charli: "he said he'd change this time!"

He stood up and started pacing around the room

Chase: "he doesn't change! They never change. He will never change. And I'm sorry. I know how badly you want him too but he won't, not for you, not for me, not for anyone."

He doesn't understand.

Charli: "he sounded like he was serious"

I sat up against the headboard

Chase: "of course he did Charli! He's great at lying to people. He lied to you for months? He sounded serious then too right??"

...I don't think he's lying this time.

Chase: "I'm sorry but he never loved you Char. And he will never be capable of loving anyone. You are incredibly smart, and that makes me wonder how could a smart girl like you, make such a dumb ridiculous choice??"

I sighed looking down at my hands

Chase: "no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He came up closer to me

Chase: "this isn't your fault and I wasn't blaming you for one second, you're the victim in this situation."

I'm always the victim aren't I.

Charli: "I have to try working things out with him..."

He quickly shook his head

Chase: "please don't"

I have to...

Charli: "Part of me has hope for myself, maybe one day someone could love me. Not the sweet, innocent, perfect girl I'm pretending to be but the real me. The train wreak, messed up, insecure girl I really am. But the rest of me knows Il never find that. No one's gonna see the real me and no one's gonna love the real me. Justin is the only hope I have at this. Even though I know he doesn't love the real me, he still loves a part of me? And that's something right?"

He scoffed

Chase: "no. That's not something. That's nothing. It means nothing. You need someone who can see both sides of you, at your best and your worst."

I stood up and walked away from him

Charli: "you can't say that. You don't have a worst. I've never seen you at your worst because you don't have a worst! You can't say that when you don't know what I feel!"

He's always at his best? Hes like the perfect person with the perfect family and the perfect everything?? It's unfair?? He doesn't know what he's talking about when it comes to love because girls are quite literally always throwing themselves at him?! He doesn't have to worry about being alone his whole life??

Chase: "no Charli, I don't know what you feel?? And I don't know what you're going through but you can't keep pretending like your the only one with shit going on?! I have a worst? Of course I have a worst?? I just don't show it around you because I want to be my best around you."

...

Chase: "you're probably going through something right now that I know nothing about, but I am too. I bet you didn't know I'm moving in a month because my entire family thinks I'm crazy?"

What?? He's moving? Like to a new house? Orrr?

Charli: "im done here Chase. I'm sorry thats happening but it's not gonna convince me to stay in this fake relationship. I've decided. I'm being with Justin weather you like it or not."

I have to...

Chase: "what?!"

I walked to the door

Chase: "no! You aren't? You promised you'd stay in this relationship till I got the girl I wanted. This isn't a one sided deal??"

I turned around and rolled my eyes

Charli: "I don't know what you fucking want from me Chase?! We've been doing this for a month now! Are you even trying??"
Chase: "of course I'm trying! I've been trying so hard but nothing works?! She doesn't like me!"

Hate to say it but I don't think this is gonna work then.

Chase: "please Charli. Can we just do this for a couple more weeks?"

I shook my head

Charli: "not if you don't tell me who she is. I've never seen her! Ever! I feel like you're making no effort at all and that's unfair to me! I don't wanna do this anymore. I'm out of this."
Chase: "please..."

Charli: "who is the girl!? Just tell me or I'm leaving now!

He said nothing

Charli: "fine."

I turned around and reached for the door handle

Chase: "for gods sake it's you Charli! I'm in love with you!"

A/n
😧😧😧😧 it's about time
Wow. What's she gonna do now. Hehehehehehehehee

Thank you so much for 20k!!!

Also please vote in the comments how long you want this book to be, do you think 100 chapters is going to be enough?

Word count - 1085