Dear Diary | Chacha

Mask

                     ~Chapter 27~
                          MASK

Charlis POV:
This happens a lot. Like a lot. Everytime Justin and I fight it's because of him, he always does something to start the fight, yeah yeah sounds like a toxic relationship but it's really not. All couples fight.

Anyways, every time we fight I sometimes bring up breaking up. And the second I do he's all like "I'm jumping off my roof right now if we break up." "Don't please Charli, Your all I have. Im gonna slit my wrists" "Charli I love you please don't do this, I will drown myself in the pool"

And don't get me wrong. I don't joke about suicide, it's something I take very seriously which is why I'm so done with him doing this? Because every time, I gotta go to his house and make sure he doesn't go through with it because if he really did then it'll be my fault. We always end up making up after that.

And now he's done it again, he said he's going to hang himself. Which is so not right to say if he's only doing it to get me to forgive him. I know he does this a lot but I'd never ignore him when he says he's gonna kill himself because even though he's lied about it a bunch of times, Il never know the day when it'll be true so I'm always be there for him every time he says it because I wouldn't let him die for something so stupid.

Chase: "he's what??"

I nodded

Sounds like Justin's never played the suicide scare on him.

Chase: "he said that??"

I nodded

Chase: "well what are you gonna do? Walk there??"

I actually don't know. Il figure it out

Chase: "why aren't you freaking out??"

First time this happened I freaked out completely, second time a little less but still a bunch, third a little less, forth, Fifth, on and on

Charli: "I'm surprised he's never once told you about his serious suicide attempts."

Little bit weird how he hasn't even talked about any of his dozens of attempts to him. Sounds like a topic that would be brought up at least once?

Chase: "attempts?! Meaning more then once?!"

I laughed

Charli: "too many to count"

I walked out of his room and he followed me

Chase: "Il drive you"

With what?

Chase: "Il take my parents car"

I laughed

Charli: "do you even have a driver's licence?"
Chase: "no..."

Then there ain't no way he's driving me.

Charli: "I can drive. I have my licence"

...
I sure do.

Chase: "okay"
Charli: "you sure your parents are good with this?"

He nodded

Chase: "of course they are"

I hope he isn't joking. I don't want any more parents to hate me. If I ever used my parents car, I'd be laying in a coma right now.

Charli: "okay"

We walked over to the garage and I got in the front seat, he passed me the car keys and I turned on the car

If I'm being honest this is one of my first times driving. I have no idea what I'm doing. Like at all.

But I trust that I won't crash. If I do I'm screwed. His parents would kill me.

I wish I could practice driving more, but my parents obviously won't get me a car and Justin never lets me practice with his precious car.

I put the keys In the engine and backed up out of the parking space

I trust myself more then I trust chase right now to drive, I'd understand if he'd be freaking out right now. It's his first Justin suicide mission.

Chase: "is this like some sorta joke?"

I don't know at this point

I started driving

Charli: "who knows"

After a bit we finally arrived without me crashing into anything. Almost but I didn't.

Charli: "I really don't wanna go in there"

Not after what his dad told me. God, this is gonna be awkward. I'm coming back to the house only hours after I walked out.

Chase: "why not?"
Charli: "don't worry about it"

If I tell him this, I'd have to tell him the rest.

Charli: "let's just go"

He nodded

We both got out of the car
And I let him walk ahead of me

We arrived to the door and I knocked while entering

Once we got there I went straight past his parents and into his room where Chase followed me

Justin was sitting on his bed on his phone

I sighed and rolled my eyes

He saw me and quickly got off his
phone

Charli: "could you at least pretend like you were going to commit?"
Justin: "I was! I swear Charli! I was! I was waiting for you"

He was waiting for me. He was waiting for me to commit suicide.

Charli: "okay? Well? I'm here?"

He looked confused

Justin: "okay? Well what do you want me to do? Jump out the window?"

He won't do it

Charli: "whatever is good with me, you can pick"

He laughed a bit then stopped realizing I wasn't joking

Justin: "you want me to die? You don't love me?"

I am so sick of this.

Justin: "what happened to you."

What happened to me? What happened to me is I was kicked out of my own house for being a victim? What happened to him?? For not believing me?! He just expects me to come and save him every time he's "gonna commit" but I'm still waiting for him to save me? I really don't know how much longer I can do this?! I don't know how much longer I can be here On this planet?! I have no m money, no house, no family and no one who supports me! How am I supposed to live like this?!

Charli: "you know what happened to me! And I'm tired of playing the nice girl who's a great girlfriend, who loves her friends, and who's always nice to everyone!? That's not me?! That's never been me?! You wanna know the truth?!"

He rolled his eyes

Justin: "I know the truth Charli! And you are that girl! I know you!"

Charli: "you don't know me! At all?! The real truth is I hate my friends! And I hate apologizing to you for the shit that's your fault?! And if I'm being honest right now, I don't even know if I really love you?!"

A/n
Damn Charli, tell him! 😄😁😄😄
#WeHateJustin

Anyways this chapter was for #WeHateJustin purposes only, suicide is no joke and it shouldn't be used as a joke

#Gaslight #gatekeep #girlboss
😫😫🤣😫

Word count - 1111