Carnal Desires

15

Billie Eilish, Khalid - lovely

Rory stayed in bed for the rest of the day. After their fight in the bath he had stormed out dressing in a singlet and sweatpants. He pulled on a boxing wrap, no doubt heading for the gym to blow off some steam. It was better he hit a punching bag than her.

She was frighten and anxious to say the least. When he returned to bed tonight what would he do with her? Her heart raced with every passing second and at every footstep she heard outside her door.

When she heard a creak, she sat up fear coursing in her eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw Luci striding in. Her exams were over. Hence, why she looked more lively and less exhausted.

"Hi," she smiled, sliding into the empty space beside her. "You have María very worried. She sent me here to get you down for dinner later."

"I think I'll have it in my room." She said, laying her head back down.

"Did you have a fight with my brother?" Luci asked stupidly while staring at the red mark on her cheek.

"Yeah," she murmured, pushing back the lump in her throat.

"Did you take a contraceptive pill?"

"Yeah." She hadn't miss one since her wedding night.

Her thoughts flashed to feeling of him releasing inside her. In that moment, she was frighten. Frighten of getting pregnant and bound to him forever. She had marked out her next three periods and prayed that it came. What would she do with a baby? A child she was forced to have.

Rory wondered why he did it. If it was her punishment then it was a cruel one. He not only subjected her to hell but his own child too. Imagine only existing to bound your parents together.

"I'm surprised," Luci laughed, "I'm surprised that you're still here. I thought you would have ran for the hills by now."

She thought so too.

"I can't ran away." She swallowed, the ceiling above suddenly turning fuzzy. "He has my mother."

That was all it took for her to break.

What happened in the shower, she wanted to turned back time. She should have just kissed him back, like he wanted then she would not be feeling what she felt like now.

Helplessness. Violated. Immense pain.

Luci held her as she cried. It was the kind of cry that tore out hearts and crushed them. A hurt that pierced so deep it burned and the only way to relief that feeling was to cut it deep. That's what Rory was doing unconsciously - digging her nails into her wrist, scratching and clawing. It was to replace the emotional pain with a physical one where it only lasted momentarily.

Luci held her hands still. She had been there and done that. If only she had someone to hold her too.

"You shouldn't live your life like this." She murmured, stroking Rory's back softly. "You should only live for yourself. I think your mother would understand."

"I can't leave her." She hiccuped.

"Then you will never leave this place." Luci stated sternly. "Don't subject yourself to pain for someone else. It is not cruel to choose yourself over others."

She stopped crying, wiped her tears and sat up, "Aren't you on your brother's side? Why are you trying to help me?"

"I'm on the side of justice." Luci said, rolling her eyes playfully. She hopped off the bed, pulling Rory along. "Come, you will cause María heartache if you don't come down for dinner."