versions 1.3-1.6 (Diary 1) [ARCHIVED]

wooo feeling good

i'm feeling much better today UvU, finally out of my own head, and honestly that stuff with t doesn't phase me  atm.

i just wanted to say something about t, i'll move on, she'll make new friends and i'll be left behind, it's happened before, i left my childhood friends, left a girl who was really into me (which i'm kinda in her situation atm if i think about it), and most of all t will make new friends and leave me, it'll hurt like fuck but it's life, and i swear to never let emotions like these form again, i can't do this again,

anyway my point is no matter how much i love her, we'll eventually separate, it's sad as hell to think about but she's not my gf so i really should just move on tbh, i know it's easier said then done but i gotta face logic, she doesn't like me so i just need to deal with it, that's that.

still annoys me the ambiguous wording, but it's not like i can ask her to reject me again.

also also, i kinda worry about her relation ship with her bf, like b had this girlfriend who they only talked online and it just ended because  b's girlfriend didn't think  it was serious, what if that's the case with t's relationship, i hope not i really do, but idk they don't spend much time together irl so like her bf could just ditch her or cheat on her like it was nothing, idk it's stupid, it just feels like they only see each other once a month and it's like wtf is he doing cause they aren't as close as u think a couple would be imo, it's like when two preschoolers get together, it just doesn't feel real to me, then again i'm not in that relationship so i really shouldn't be judging.

but if he breaks up/cheats on her i'll be pissed, but tbh i'm afraid that t would probably forgive them and ignore it and continue dating them idk i just think she'd possibly forgive them. (edit: this is all just hypothetical, and i honestly hope nothing of that nature ever happens to t cause she doesn't deserve anything like that)

well it's whatever she "can't feel the same way" (again that fucking wording, just say u "don't" not fucking "can't") ("cant" MAKES IT SEEM LIKE SOMETHING IS PREVENTING YOU SO SAY "don't") (might ask later today if she can just say she doesn't feel the same way because "can't is really annoying wording) anyways i just need to move on with my life and not let this weigh me down ^^

sorry didn't intend that to be another rant about t, i'm as a general rule feeling better then the last few days.