honesty time, i've been doing alot of self harm and having alot of suicidal thoughts. i know, i know, they're not good, but i've lost everything. like what do i do now? i don't want to feel this way again, but i have a crippling fear of being alone, it's an oxymoronic conundrum. i know i have to be alone, but i don't want to be, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
god damn i don't want to kill myself tbh, i just don't wish to be alive atm, like sure i've thought about how i'd end it, by slitting my wrist, but i can't bare to live with the consequences if i survive. whelp, guess for the TIME BEING i'll continue living for the sake of living. because what do i have to look forward to, i have no possible future where i'll be happy it seems.
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versions 1.3-1.6 (Diary 1) [ARCHIVED]
Sachbüchermoved to my new diary where hopefully i'll be less of a whiny bit- i mean where hopefully i'll be more mature for her time moves on, whilst my life is in a state of constant transit i'll just be refering to myself as L, i am currently on my final ye...
![versions 1.3-1.6 (Diary 1) [ARCHIVED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/291103081-64-k372270.jpg)