what can i say, i said i would forget all about it when i next saw her, and yep, i was right, instantly calmed, idk what it is about her, i'm calm and centered around her, i'm in control of my emotions, i'm at piece (most of the time). idk, maybe this is the power of love (cue rainbow) or maybe it's just her personality, but when i'm with her i'm controlled and regulated, but when i'm not, it's like i'm overheating while in hibernation mode, unable to do anything but to just sit there and wait for it all to end. i could go blaming this on my medication (adhd and anti anxiety) wearing off and my emotions running riot because of that, but it's not, i've been medicated for nearly 3 yrs or so now, and this never occurred before, i haven't lost control in those three yrs until recently, idk.
i love her so much, i know it doesn't matter, i know she won't feel the same, but i love her so much. my love is concerning, i've never felt this way before, i've only ever had 2 crushes (maybe at a max 3), and these feelings haven't stopped developing, so what if this gets worse? how will i change? what would i do if she abandoned me at that point? it'll be unbearable, i won't be able to stand it then, i can't even handle these emotions already.
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versions 1.3-1.6 (Diary 1) [ARCHIVED]
Non-Fictionmoved to my new diary where hopefully i'll be less of a whiny bit- i mean where hopefully i'll be more mature for her time moves on, whilst my life is in a state of constant transit i'll just be refering to myself as L, i am currently on my final ye...
![versions 1.3-1.6 (Diary 1) [ARCHIVED]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/291103081-64-k372270.jpg)