DYING TO KNOW | TAEKOOK

22. You Wouldn't Like Me

Namjoon was deeply suspicious of what was going on in his long-term patient's life.

The incident in New York, barely a few weeks ago, and then a number of cancellations made through his assistant only did more to deepen the concern.

When Jungkook logged on for their teleconference, the therapist observed him for a moment.

"Jungkook, you look exhausted," Namjoon noticed immediately.

Jungkook shrugged. His eyes were puffy and baggy behind the glasses he rarely wore. He knew his hair was greasy and his skin probably looked dull.

"I can't really sleep, Namjoon, people typically look tired when that happens," he replied snappishly. He was too tired for this.

Namjoon made a few notes and sat in silence.

"So I have to ask you a question," Jungkook announced, staring into the camera with a biting look.

Namjoon gestured for him to go right ahead.

"What is your relationship with that guy, Jin, that you showed up to Jimin's place with?" Jungkook wanted to know, badly, exactly what Namjoon and fucking everyone else in his life, knew. What he seemed to be in the dark about.

The therapist sighed, "Jungkook, that is personal. You know that we can't talk about my private life here," Namjoon chided, setting the boundary line firm.

"Is it personal? What if it's my private life too?" he tossed back, baiting Namjoon. He deserved to know.

Namjoon nodded, "Jin and I are friends and colleagues," he answered succinctly, "We have known each other for many years."

Jungkook felt like he was being stabbed. Or like he might cry. Maybe both.

"And do you know his husband?" he asked through clenched teeth.

Namjoon raised his eyebrows in a mixture of surprise and recognition.

"Not really, do you?" the therapist replied neutrally.

Jungkook considered how he wanted to answer that before relenting completely.

"I thought I did," he admitted, shoulders low, "It's kind of confusing right now."

Namjoon nodded with an opaque look on his face, as only a therapist could, "What's confusing about it?" he prompted.

"I know him, and I like him, we've been getting to know each other and he's the lead in the movie they are making of Shot in the Dark, but the other day I learned that he's married. To Jin," he rambled, trying to let it all out without any emotion.

"Did that make you upset?" Namjoon asked, blandly, unable to express the sadness he felt on the younger's behalf. Mostly.

Jungkook nodded in affirmation, "Yeah. It did. And now I just feel sad. I don't know if I want to talk about it though. Can we talk about something else?" he asked quickly, feeling something well up in his throat.

"Sure," the therapist assured him.

"Jimin has been confusing lately too," Jungkook announced.

Namjoon tried not to sigh. "Why is that?"

"Last week he asked me for the poetry I wrote about him, which is fucking ancient history, but I'm worried he wants to talk about it. And he knows I don't do that. He also wants me to talk to Lili," Jungkook blurted out, hands trembling. He tucked them into his lap, out of the frame.

Namjoon walked Jungkook through the rest of the session, talking about Jimin, trying to broach the topic of the past without any luck.

Jimin knew more about Jungkook than anyone, even his therapist, and as much as Jimin had told Namjoon, he knew it wasn't everything.