DYING TO KNOW | TAEKOOK

15. Hell

*brief content warning for language and adult themes*

The next morning, Jungkook did not miss his flight. He didn't even ask Kelly to book it for him, nor did he want to face the wrath of her concern lathering all over him. He threw some clothes in a bag, shoved his feet into some biker boots, and drove off.

♾♾♾

Taehyung spent the next day pinging between existential dread and utter elation. He needed help. He wasn't scheduled to be on set, so he was left to his own devices at home with very little ability to keep himself occupied.

Maybe he needed a therapist.

However, he didn't do any of the things he needed to do, instead he called Yoongi.

"Yoongi," he murmured when the producer picked up the phone brusquely.

"What's up, Tae?" Yoongi asked, sounding half-annoyed and half-concerned.

Taehyung tried to swallow his trepidation and just go for it. "Do you know a good divorce attorney?" he asked economically, providing no further information. He didn't really need to.

He could hear Yoongi's sharp inhale, "You guys are calling it?" Yoongi's clipped voice was impossibly deep and completely impenetrable.

"Yeah," he choked out, "It's done." He didn't want to say it, because then it was real. Then it mattered, to someone other than him.

Yoongi said nothing for a moment. "I'll send you my attorney's contact info. She's amazing," he offered.

"Thank you," Taehyung croaked. He ran his fingers through his already messy hair and rubbed his eyes. It made him feel better, somehow, that Yoongi didn't tell him how sorry he was.

"You know, Tae, if you want to talk," Yoongi began reluctantly, "You have people. You have me," he reminded gently.

Taehyung blinked fast, "I know. It's just hard right now," he gasped, having trouble regulating his breathing.

"I'm not really sure I have anything to say. It doesn't feel real," he panted.

Yoongi waited patiently. His taciturn nature wasn't always a bad thing.

"I just feel like I have nothing left to give. I love him so much but I'm not in love with him. But, I'm also scared out of my mind to let him go," he was crying now. Great.

"Tae, you don't have to be such a black and white thinker," Yoongi scolded; his voice barely more than a whisper. "Has it ever occurred to you that Jin may feel the same way?"

Taehyung shook his head, but reconsidered, "I honestly don't know, Yoongi. It just fucking hurts. I feel like a failure all the time," he brought his knees into his chest from his place on the couch. "But I also don't want to cheat on him. That's not who I am anymore," he openly admitted.

Yoongi raised an eyebrow silently, almost cooing into the phone at the earnestness, "Are you cheating on him?" he asked softly.

"It kinda depends on how you define cheating, honestly," Taehyung flushed, remembering the little hot tub rendezvous with Jungkook.

Straight Jungkook, he reminded himself.

Yoongi was puzzled, "Okay, Tae. Just be careful," he warned. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes.

"It's not what you think," Taehyung tried to explain.

"You don't need to tell me, it's okay, just," Yoongi paused, trying to think of the best way to land this blow, "Just, untie one knot at a time, okay?" he settled.