Ghost

Chapter Seventy One

                                      Nats POV

I don't know about anybody else, but for me, time seemed to move in slow motion. I'm sure internally, Spencer is freaking out a bit. But I'm freaking out a bit too. A lot a bit.

It's the first time Spencer and Carol have seen each other since they broke up. And I'm just watching, as seconds feel like minutes, I'm watching them make eye contact for the first time. I'm watching them really see each other for the first time. I'm witnessing whatever they're feeling for each other again for the first time.

Accept, I have no idea what they're feeling. They're looking at each other, but I can't read Spencer's expression. And that worries me because I can normally read her very well. Oh, how I wish I could read her mind right now.

So I could know if those old feelings are back, that they're new again. So I would know if she now has the desire to have Carol hold her instead of me. So I would know if she wished she stayed back and tried to figure things out with Carol.

So I would know if Spencer wishes she had her. If all of that love came flooding back.

Because she did leave her. But not because she cheated or because she wanted to or because she stopped loving her.

She left because she loved her and she didn't think she could love her the way she thought she deserved.

And Carol left to save the world. She left angry because she thought Spencer cheated. But she didn't.

So all the reasons they left each other.. well, they aren't an issue anymore.

So maybe, just maybe, Spencer wants Carol instead of me.

And maybe I'm crazy. I know I should be worried about Spencer and I am but.. I also can't help but feel like my relationship could tear apart. Like this person, my person, just might not be mine.

And the silence that stretched too long, and their gaze that lingered for too long.. it's all not helping this feeling of doom.

Spencer is the first one to break the silence, "um, hey." She gives a short wave and her smile that makes me swoon. Accept it's not for me.

I can't stop the shattering of my heart.

"Spencer?" Carols voice is barely above a whisper.

More silence. Until Bucky speaks up, "what's up Carol? Didn't think you'd be on earth any time soon? Not that we aren't happy to see you but.. just surprised."

She clears her throat and finally tears her gaze away from Spencer and over to the rest of the group. "Uh, yeah. Parker invited me to movie night. Wasn't busy so I figured, why not. But I didn't.. expect.."

Spencer speaks up, "you got your hair cut."

"I did."

"It's a good look for you."

"Thanks, I like it."

"I like it too." Once again she gives her that smile. I might as well not be in the room. I feel like I'm not. Or I wish I wasn't.

"So, uh.. what are you doing here?" Carol finally asks. She also must finally realize Spencer is in my arms as her gaze wanders over to me. Though, Spencer isn't really in my arms anymore, is she? She has sat up, now only barely between my legs.

There goes the last few pieces of my heart.

Am I freaking out too soon? I don't know. You tell me.