Flickers

Chapter 118

Waiting was not exactly my forte but I had to wait for the results for two months and by then the new semester for college would start. The only choice I gave is to pass and I've been praying that I would.

Scrolling through my phone I saw another picture of Eric, he was surrounded by a group of young people — people I do not know of. It has been a month after he left and stayed in Cavite and all we could do was to call each other and message about our days every week.

It's so different.

I can't hug him anymore, I haven't held hands with him for a month and there was no Eric; a living breathing person that would annoy the heck out of me and then made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

I drop my head on the back of the seat just looking at the walls, my feet swinging from left to right as I think of happy thoughts. Maybe it's my hormones after all I'm about to start my menstruation or maybe it's just the loneliness that I couldn't bear.

"Your mouth could scoop water from how much you pouted. What's the matter huh?"

I look at mom, she too has stayed alone for three years after her husband's death. Though it seems like a long time ago I could still feel the pain and loss that overcomes my heart and mind whenever I think of him.

"I need some advice mom" it was a very humble request from a troubled me. She sat down, just a few inches from me, and have her focus on me.

"What is it? Are you scared of your entrance exam results?" I shook my head and she blinks her eyes at me as if waiting for me to tell her what's the real problem.

"Eric and I are still together and... it feels like we're not at the same time"

I couldn't look her in the eye, embarrassed that I have to say this flimsy matter to her when she's the one who has to face her husband's death and both act as the mother and father of the family.

"Ange" I heard her say my name and I flinched, expecting a sermon from her o stop from being too focused on my relationship rather than by studies and future. "You know when your father died I almost thought of giving up. It was so hard, so, so hard but I stayed. For you and for him"

She wiped her tears, I've never seen my mother cry out in the clear because she always cry at night where no one would see her. But I did. I take her hand and notice that it was rough, it still has residue of coldness from her working on her job of washing; and it was old and almost frail.

I never noticed that my mother is also getting old; my mind was stuck to her standing up for the whole family and carrying all the responsibility that was left for her after dad died.

Guilt flooded into my eyes and I resist the urge to sob. She patted me in the back like a parent does to a child when they are in need of coaxing.

"You see, distance makes the heart fonder.
When you were young you may think that love is always accompanied by sweetness— that you two should always be stuck together and only with happiness will your relationship extend. If you believe in you twos relationship and retain that love that you two have for each other, I believe that you two will work out"

Mom was right. I've been so used to being with him that I thought that him leaving this place would be equivalent to our relationship breaking.

Love doesn't indeed have to be all magical and joyful; there is bitterness that comes after and difficulties that would arise. We just need to stay strong and be on the same page together.

"Thank you mom and.... I'm sorry if I ever made things so hard for you. I promise I'll work hard to key you enjoy your retirement years" I put my arms around her and embraced her tightly.

"Oh you have a sweet mouth huh! Well then I'll wait for it!" She pinched my nose slightly making me chuckle at her.

"Oi what happened? Why do you two have smiling faces yet red eyes?" Jhonrie says after being outside with no shirt on his body. He must be out of the sea again or playing with his friends.

"They must have the same month together" Ronnel says and I ran to him with my slipper on earning laughter form the rest of my family.

That night I had a serious chat with Eric and decided that the two of us should never lose communication with each other. If we did then we must explain the reason the next day.

***
Chapter 118 is up!

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