T h i r t y - O n e

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Tryna find the words to say,
Got a feeling that you know what's on my mind
So I let you lead the way
'Cause you take me to a perfect paradise

Deeper Love - Nick Jonas

Nick Jonas's thoughts

(11:40 PM Tuesday)


The crunching of Rob's Popcorn crunched in my mouth as I stared out onto the city of Los Angeles. It was nearly midnight, yet the light was still twinkling. The stars on the other side of town where Utah laid were brighter than diamonds as they twinkled.

I remembered that time in middle school where the teachers taught us about why stars weren't as bright in the city as they were out in the countryside. Apparently, the city uses too much light and so the stars were there, but they weren't too noticeable as they were in the countryside where the stars were like grain on a dark sheet of endless paper.

I prefer the starry sky, but I still prefer the city. Not much of a nature guy really, I just don't think it's necessary for me to be in a jungle or around grass, bugs, and dirty water. But I do try my best to make myself evolve around nature. Like I have this patch of grass in the middle of my house and every like, 3 hours, I go step on the grass. 

Extreme.

I couldn't sleep tonight. I didn't know why I couldn't. Ever since the moment Hary walked in, telling us that we had to leave, I just couldn't say anything to anyone anymore. I should be happy. But I was not.

(9:04 AM Friday)

"Want to hang out with Demi?" Joe asked me. I shook my head no and continued to stare at my coffee cup. "Um, OK. Do you wanna play Fortnite?" he asked instead. I shook my head no again. I was never really a video game person. 

"Seriously, I know what you're thinking, Nick," Joe said, making me look up at him. "No, you don't," I said, a little aggressively. "You have no idea what I'm thinking, or going through."

"But you could tell me!" Joe said exasperatedly as he clutched the sugar bowl. "We're brothers, I'm not gonna laugh or whatever, dude! Besides, I thought you were going to be happy," he said, making me look up at him, eyebrows narrowed. 

"Why the fuck would you think I'd be happy?" I snapped at him.

"Well, you know..." he leaned in. "Kendall and Harry are no more," he said, making me widen my eyes, "What? How did you know?" I said, hoping he wasn't playing some sort of joke.

"Clevver news," Joe said simply as he fell back on his chair. "They confirmed it yesterday night. Harry, apparently. Kendall just... she didn't do anything," he said with a shrug. But then he smiled, "So are you happy now?" he asked me. I gave him a 'seriously' look.

"What, usually, no one would be happy when some couple broke up, dude," I said, my tone very accusing. "Besides, what am I supposed to be happy about, she practically hates me," I added miserably.

Joe's eyes widened, "Wait, so it's true?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"What's true?"

"The fact that you now like Kendall!" he said in a 'duh' tone. I sighed, "I don't know, man... Well, I'm unsure about the whole thing," I said instead, actually making a conversation with him. "And that's probably the reason why I will never ever have a girlfriend."

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