Jikook Oneshots 2

Friends

"What the fuck."

"I know, right?"

"How did Namjoon-Hyung learn English from this thing!?"

Jimin and Jungkook stare at the TV with wide, confused eyes. "Wow...RM-Hyung really is a genius, huh?" Jungkook murmurs.

"Yeah," Jimin groans. "We're never gonna learn English."

"It was one of my goals in life too," Jungkook sighed. "Oh well."

"Well maybe you'll get there someday, but it won't be while watching Friends," Jimin encourages. "But we're Korean, we only need to speak Korean."

"I know, but I want to help Namjoon-Hyung," Jungkook shrugs. "I don't understand what he's saying in a lot of those interviews, but most of the time he sounds annoyed, I wanna help out where I can."

"I know you do," Jimin kisses his cheek. "You work hard. I love you."

"I love you too," Jungkook pecks his lips. "So what are we? Ross and Rachel?"

"No!" Jimin giggled. "We're Chandler and Monica! We got along quickly, became friends quickly, got together a couple years later, and stayed together forever. They're each other's best friends."

"Yeah you're right, we are," Jungkook grabbed his lover's hand. "We're so cute. Chandler and Monica was the cuter couple anyways."

"Absolutely!"

A/N: Alpha males may come at me and seethe because I'm not like the women they describe, I'm not a woman following my biological destiny, I'm going down the wrong path...

But I'd love a uxorious husband 

A person who used a word she just learned to sound smart even though she's obviously a dumbass and everyone knows it;

Don't mind how bad I look I didn't try hard enough to take a good photo lol

Yes your dumbass is back on her own schedule, I now upload when I feel like, and I will slowly get back into more consistent uploads, but I'm still adapting to my classes lol. They're both classes that I love (though oh my fucking God I hate the book I'm reading in English ((more on that later))) but it's still going from nothing for 17 months to getting up and out of the house at 6:30am and not getting back until anywhere from 5:30 to 9:30pm, and I hate that so~

Anyways, the book I hate is called Ishmael, it's about a fucking spiritual gorilla who teaches this guy about life and saving the world and stuff by confusing metaphors and it's dumb, because why does there have to be a gorilla?? It's not engaging at all, like they literally say, "Omg this is a gorilla" in the first chapter and then it's rarely mentioned again-

Like it's so dialogue heavy, because the entire book is set with a man sitting in a chair in an empty room on one side, looking through a window to another room with a gorilla in it, and all they do is talk

And talk

And talk some more

About completely meaningless things that are supposed to be ✧･ﾟ:*profound*:･ﾟ✧ and ✧･ﾟ:*eye-opening*:･ﾟ✧ but it's all just pointless to me

"If a hyena was to gain all the gazelles for themselves, what would they do?" "They would have to kill the lions" "Yes but what else?" "What else?" "In order for them to survive as a species, because they'll have less competition their population will grow, they'll need more food. Larger population means decreased source of prey which means decreased source of species. What do they need to do to make sure that doesn't happen?" "Kill all the other animals that eat the grass the gazelles do." "Good, but what else." "There's more?" "Think, first get rid of the direct threat, then the threat once removed, what else." "...They need to get rid of the threat twice removed, getting rid of the plants that compete for resources the grass does." "Good."