Smoke of His Breath // Ethan Torchio

lesson 68: there are always worse things one can do

I'm too scared and also excited to write this chapter. Let's see if you'll like it.

Love you all <3

Enjoy,

Hey it was you who found some water in this desert
And it was you who robbed the forest from its fire
You were the first to show a bird its feathers
You were the one to gift a bird its voice
(wo.t.h- Tamino)

*

We all went to Damiano's house after their performance. I could see how broken they all were.

Of course the performance was great and they's killed it. But it just wasn't right. And I hated myself for it.

I wasn't being fair to them. It wasn't my place to ruin their work. They had worked through all high school. They had this national competition in a few days. They had worked too much to make it happen. No relationship, no partner, no anything should've gotten in the way.

Victoria and Damiano went to his room to cuddle to sleep. "Good night," Victoria had said to both of us. Damiano had gave me a kiss on my forehead but he hadn't said a word.

Ethan and I crawled up in the couch. He wrapped his arms around me behind my back. My shirt had pulled over so his fingertips touched the bare skin of my belly.

"You were great today." I said, wanting to make him feel better as much as possible. He exhaled heavily, his breath rubbed my neck.

"Can we not..." he asked desperately. "Not now."

I gulped and nodded. I knew he was too hurt. Maybe even a little angry. I didn't know who his anger was towards to. But he had a right, whoever it was.

I grabbed his hand on my belly and squeezed it.

"Can you sing?" He asked. He continued to talk when I didn't gave him a response. "Songs always comfort me. I would want to sing to you but lucky bastard Dami got all the voice talent and didn't left me any."

I giggled. I was glad he felt good enough to make a joke.

"What do you want me to sing?" I said. He shrugged and my body moved because he was holding me.

I thought about it for a while and started to sing the first song that came to my mind.

Even though the neighborhood
Thinks I'm trashy and no good
I suppose it could be true
But there are worse things I could do
I could flirt with all the guys
Smile at them and bat my eyes
Press against them when we dance
Make them think they stand a chance
Then refuse to see it through
That's a thing I'd never do

Singing it, had made me feel even shittier about myself. I had chose the song simply because it was from Grease. I had thought he would like something from the movie.

"I love your voice." Was the last sentence heard in the room before we both fell asleep.
*
*

Two days passed. They were supposed to leave for the competition tomorrow night. Everything was booked. Airbnb they were staying in, bus tickets, competition arrangements... All were done.

Victoria and Damiano had packed, just in case. Ethan hadn't.

He was standing in front of his wardrobe. His dad was out of the house so we were comfortable around the house. He wasn't wearing a shirt. A couple strings of hair was running through his shoulders, escaping his messy bun. I got up of the bed I was sitting. I got closer to him. I pressed my lips to his shoulders while I was wrapping my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his muscular back.