"When we make it to my room, he pushes me against the wall, places his hands on my hips while my hands find their place on his chest. He kisses me on the lips then moves away, trailing kisses starting from my neck, down to my jawline, which leads to...
This on and off again situation we put ourselves into breaks my heart. I feel like it's not getting any better but it just seems beyond both of our control.
As of right now, we are still very much a part of each other's lives, but without the label, currently.
After the company had to go through major safety precautions of changing all the member's phone numbers and running a tighter ship in terms of the men's whereabouts on their off time, when they can have it, I didn't want to have that label. If for some reason, a sasaeng or news outlet digs up more info about me, I can have a clear conscience and say that I'm just a colleague of the group and nothing more.
Melina, being part of another record company and working with another high profile idol group, allows for her to have more leeway in that she can say her association with BTS is purely business. It was even discussed with Bang Pd-nim, who agreed to put up that front to keep media at bay.
And, because, Melina is my best friend, me being around the boys is less stressful. And, though, there were those pictures back in October, they don't clearly show my face to a point where I'm easily identifiable. I haven't had an issue since, but you never know.
Anyway, it's currently 11pm, Seoul time and I am currently laying in Yoongi's bed at the dorm.
Why am I in Yoongi's bed, you ask?!
Well, I'm here to surprise Melina! I haven't seen her much since she's been here in Seoul a lot, and it was Yoongi's idea to fly me out because he knows Melina needs me as much as I need her. So, here I am. And, since Yoongi is currently at his shared apartment with Melina, I have his room to stay in for the night. It'll be tomorrow when we head over to surprise Melina and drive to a destination for some much needed private rest and relaxation!
Now, I could be in Jungkook's room, and the man did try to persuade me to stay with him in his room since I've arrived, but I told him I didn't want to get tempted.
I know it doesn't make complete sense, since he still loves me and I can't deny that I still love him. But, like I had mentioned before, us being on and off again because of outside forces, has taken its toll, and I just need to separate myself little by little.
Part of me wants to eventually break it off with Jungkook because I don't see this ending well in the long run, but, it's so hard to let go. It's just that I don't want us breaking each other's heart when all of this crumbles.
I really have a lot to think about.
Knock knock knock
"Yes?" I say out loud, questioningly, to person who is on the other side of the bedroom door.
Jungkook opens the door and peaks his head in.
"Can I come in?" He asks in a soft voice.
"Yes, definitely, Kook. Can't sleep?" I ask him, looking concerned. He and I both end up sitting at the foot of Yoongi's bed.
"No, not when I know you're here. Sarah, why won't you just stay in my room with me?" Jungkook has been so relentless about me sharing a room with him.
"Jungkook, I just think it's best we set boundaries while we are taking a break because of everything going on around us."
He shakes his head in complete frustration, "This is bullshit that we have to deal with the public prying into our business, but, Sarah, I can't handle this."
"I'm sorry, Jungkook, but don't you think us being on and off is a bad sign?"
"What do you mean?" He looks at me with a pained expression.
"I just don't think our relationship will end up thriving in the long run. Not because we don't love each other. But, there's so many factors getting in the way between us that I'm scared it'll hurt us."
There, I said it.
"What the fuck?" Jungkook sneers at me. I've never seen him make such a face at me. "You came all this way to tell me this?"
"No, I came all this way because Yoongi flew me out to visit my best friend, Melina." I know I'm saying things that are hurting him, but I'm trying to be honest.
"You're right, you're not here for me. My mistake. We're just friends who love each other. No big deal." I can hear anger in his tone. And, for some reason, which could be a mix of my frustration about our complicated relationship and exhaustion from traveling, my eyes start to well up in tears.
"Jungkook, maybe we should talk about this another time. Traveling here from LA took a lot out of me." I try to tell him calmly.
"Do you even love me still?" He asks, sadness is evident in his voice.
"Of course I do, Jungkook! It's just all of this has been so overwhelming for me. My mind is just so conflicted right now."
He notices the tears welling up even more in my eyes.
"Fine, sorry I got upset. I'll let you sleep, Sarah." He dejectedly walks out of the room.
I stay awake for a little while longer, thinking about Jungkook, until sleep takes over.
*********
A/N:
Hi, all!
I have two AU stories outside of this Bangtan Couples Encounters series that I hope you can check out! My Jin ff, 'Meet Me In My Office' just started! And, my Jimin ff, 'Can I Come Over?' is now completed!
Rất tiếc! Hình ảnh này không tuân theo hướng dẫn nội dung. Để tiếp tục đăng tải, vui lòng xóa hoặc tải lên một hình ảnh khác.
Jungkook's perspective will be in the next chapter along with their trip that they take with Melina and Yoongi. If you've read my Yoongi ff, 'Backstage Encounters,' then you're aware of this particular trip! This chapter, along with the next chapter, matches up with Chapter 56 in 'Backstage Encounters.'
I didn't want to specify Roxy and Hoseok's situation since I will be delving into all of that in their ff!
