Man I can hate you sometimes
That simple sentence had Sam spiralling as he lay awake, sweat ridden body and mind racing. Colby had spat it out to him earlier this morning in an effort to shut the conversation down that they were having, it worked and he left.
Colby hadn't returned back to the trap house and his phone had been off since then, nobody had seen or heard from him apart from his mom, who called and said he was staying at Sheas.
Shea, the girl who he would do anything for, the girl he fawned and dreamed of having, the girl Sam envied.. no he truly, truly, envied that girl. Not because she was pretty, not because she was smart and kind and caring but because she had Colby, she had Colby in the only way Sam didn't, to love and to hold.
These thoughts had been racing through his mind as he laid there, hand on stomach and the other pushing his sweaty curls away from his face. His phone vibrated off to the side and his body didn't levitate towards it like usual, he stayed there, silent and distant, dreading the morning.
A soft tap on his door made his body shoot up though, as the light peaked through and spread across his bed sheets, a familiar face smiled at him through the dim light. A sense of relief spread across his chest as he recognised the curly haired brunette, covered in tattoos and nail polish.
"Hey.." he spoke softly as he gently closed the door, rubbing his palms together as he sat down on Sams desk, his eyes never once leaving Sams.
"Hey.."
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you know from before.." he spoke with such timidness that if felt like they had just met each other all over again, Sams eyes trailed down to his fidgeting fingers and he sighed.
"I'm fine Colby, don't stress yourself out. It was just an argument, friends have those, it makes us grow." A faint smile spread on Colbys face as he stopped rubbing his palms, Sam missed these talks they had, the small, little things they did together. The moments off camera where they would just sit and talk for hours about nothing in particular but just happy that they were talking.
"Listen I-"
"I'm leaving-"
"W-What?"
"I'm leaving for New York tomorrow morning, Shea wants me to go live with her and be her photographer.." Colby latched onto Sams eyes as he watched his body movement and expressions.
"Oh.."
The silence in the room was deafening as they both sat there, one in awkward silence and the other in regretful silence.
"Well uh.. enjoy yourself, try not to hook up with too many people and don't forget about us.. have a good time and please leave my room it's too late for this.." Sam spoke so quickly before turning around that Colby had to restrain himself from sitting down beside Sam and placing a loving hand on his waist, giving into the deep desires swirling around in that vast mind of his, but he fought against it.. he had too, this was Sam they were talking about, his best friend Sam.
"Yea.. I'll see ya Sam."
He stayed there, curled up facing the wall till he heard the door close and he threw the pillow behind his head at it, almost like it was Colby he was hitting.
Sam wasn't one for regrets, he didn't like the word or the meaning but this, this, made him regret every single word he didn't say to Colby, every feeling he pushed away from him as the years went on.
With one last tantalising thought, Sam closed his eyes harshly and fell into a soundless sleep, the thoughts suddenly vanishing, like they weren't there..
6.45am
Sam was up and outside for once, in sweats and a hoodie, jogging down the street with his headphones in, something he hasn't done since high school.
Colbys flight was in ten minutes and he wanted to stop him, he did but he knew better, he knew Colby would be happy, so he let him get on that plane.
As his feet hit the ground rhythmically to the beat of his music, he slowed down as his mind began to race again, the simple three words making his throat almost close up.
You love him.
Running didn't seem half as important as that thought now, he stopped completely as his breathing evened out. Turning back around, he ran back down the street and back to the house.
Almost falling through the front door, he slammed it shut as he thought about what he was about to do, turning off his iPod, he threw it on the couch before running up the stairs, two at a time.
Grabbing his phone off the bed, he unlocked it and hovered his thumb over his contact, this simple action would change everything, or Colby would never get it and he would never know... Sam liked that idea.
Hitting the little phone icon, he held it to his ear and bit his nails anxiously.
"Hey Colby.. I know your probably already on that stupid plane by now but I just needed to tell you something, I just needed to say it.. just once.. before you know leave and possibly never come back, I love you, I have since we were little and I'm sorry I told you at the shittiest time but I-"
Three loud beeps cut him off and the voicemail sent, pulling away from the phone he turned it off and sat on his bed. The voicemail had cut him off but the important message was already sent so that's that..
Looking down at his shoes, he leans down and takes them off, sighing in relief when the pressure is gone, the weight lifted, dramatic? He knows.
A door slams downstairs and he stands up, an all too familiar blue Corolla is sitting in the driveway, engine still running and door wide open. Running for his bedroom door, he flings it open and comes face to face with a wide eyed, slightly parted mouthed Colby.
"Did you-"
"I love you too."
Colby surges forward and connects their lips together, Sam feels two hands slide around his waist and he hums into the kiss, his hands wrapped around Colbys neck. The kiss taking all the air from their lungs as they desperately hold onto each other, a familiar passionate feeling burning in their chests.
Colby doesn't want it to end and by the way Sam is reacting he'll say that Sam doesn't either, but they have to because Colby can't breathe.
"New York?"
"Not going, Shea can hire a professional photographer.."
"I'm sorry it took me so long to say it and-"
"I'm never leaving you again.. ever."
Smiles cover their faces as they meet together for another ground breaking kiss, this one full of emotion and longing for each other.
The one thing that was now running through Sams mind was one simple sentence and he scolded himself for thinking it but it also aggravated him how it took for this to happen:
Man I can hate you sometimes..
