shifted

end

i stayed up all night wondering what it would be like to attended hogwarts. what it would feel like to sit in the great hall, to run to classes, or preform spells. at school my mind would wonder and i would daydream about getting my acceptance letter and going to diagon alley. god i wanted it so bad. i just wanted to taste the butter bear and feel the books on the bookshelf. all i wanted was to laugh with fred and george, and chat with luna. but i know it isn't real, i know it is all in my head. is it all in my head?

____________________________________

it's been 2 weeks.

im still in the hospital and there is no sign of draco anywhere. i am slowly loosing hope. and hope is the one thing i have to hold onto, so that's scaring the shit out of me.

my mom always comes into my room to talk, and we eat lunch and dinner together. it's really nice to talk to her again after so long.

when she goes away though i overthink. i overthink a lot.

i remember everything from hogwarts. but what if everything was fake. what if it was all just a dream. everything that happened, everything i went through was all a lie.

or maybe it wasn't- maybe it was real. everything was so detailed- so vivid. there is no way you could just have some hallucination about that.

this feeling i have about him. it can't just be made up. im not crazy. it's real.

right?

"hey y/n im going to head out for a bit. i have my shift at the bakery today. i'll call you to check up, okay?" my mother says from beside me, packing up the lunch we just ate and storing the containers away in her bag.

"yeah- okay."

she smiles and kisses my forehead before leaving my room, closing the door on her way out.

i push my head into the pillow, letting out a long sigh.

sometimes when i get bored i'll close my eyes and remember everything about hogwarts. like all the stuff that happened, and draco. i know it's probably not the healthiest option, but it helps i guess.

on a more positive note, my doctors tell me that my vitals are doing good. they tell me im doing oddly well for my case. some even joke around and tell me it's like i was never in a coma.

i always give them a half smile but that hurts a bit. i thought i wasn't in a coma this whole time. i just thought when i came back i would be back in my bed, my mom knocking on my door telling me dinner is ready.

but sadly that wasn't what happened.

my mom told me what happened to me. one night, the night i shifted. she came in to my room and saw me barely breathing or something along the lines of that. she rushed me to the hospital just in time, and they placed me in a coma- hoping i'd somehow survive.

no one knew what was wrong with me. they still don't know.

my mom says im a miracle.

everyday i walk to my window and look down at the city below, praying to any god out there that what i went through was in fact real. that it wasn't some coma dream. that these feeling aren't just my brain playing tricks on me. i pray that one day i'll see draco strolling by in his black suit with his blonde hair against his pale skin.

i want to see him laugh and smile again. for him to kiss me and hold me.

i miss him so much that it consumes me.

after a while of staring at the white ceiling i slowly get out of my bed. and tip toe over to the window. my loose sweatpants hug my waist and white tee shirt ruffles a bit when i open the window up a tad bit, letting in some breeze. i sit down on the window ledge and look out at the city below.