Hermitcraft Oneshots and A.U's

Incorrect Quotes??? - #5

Word Count : 639

Warning : Strong language and minor shipping

-
-
-
-

Teacher A.U
Mumbo : Who took my chocolate chip cookie?
Grian : *Licks cookie* Its not yours anymore, its mine, I licked it.
Mumbo : *Licks Grian's cheek*
Grian : *Grian.exe has stopped responding*
Cleo : *Wheezing in the background*

Stress : *In a panic* Don't run down the halls! The A.C turned the floors to ice again!
Xisuma : *Pouring red bull into his coffee* This shit everyday-

TFC : *To his class/students* Now, remember kids, don't be stupid.
TFC : *Points to the majority of the other teachers* Don't be them.

Iskall : *Goes up and hugs Grian*
Grian : *Freezes* Uh... Iskall what are you doing?
Iskall : Enjoying a small thing in life!
Grian : *Pulls out a knife*
Iskall : *Blasts away*

Xisuma : *Furious* Who blew up the west quadrant of the school this time?
Mumbo : Funny story really-
Cub : Well technically-
Doc : Wasn't all my fault-
Impulse : I didn't want to do it originally-
Stress : It was miscommunication between-
Xisuma : *Done with life* Damn it you guys-

Pirate A.U
Random Captain : Alright let's go to this island.
TFC : Do you have a Death wish?
Random Captain : *goes to island and goes missing with his entire ship and crew*
TFC : god damn it

Captain Doc : Void is one of the most dangerous navy captains there is!
Tango : *Currently bound and being held as prisoner* Yeah ok sure.
Tango : *Flashes back to when he saw Xisuma fall down the flight of stairs that led to the ships steering wheel*

Grian : *At Cleo* So you're dead right?
Cleo : *Nods* Yep.
Grian : Then... how are you alive?
Cleo :
Grian :
Cleo :
Grian :
Cleo : *Whisperes into walkie talkie* Shoot this man, he's starting to catch on.

Joe : *Gets washed overboard* this is fine.
Joe : *Gets taken in by a huge crew of misfits and outcasts* This is fine.
Joe : *Sees a kraken*
Joe : *Flips table* CAN I HAVE A NORMAL BOATING EXPERIENCE FOR ONCE IN MY DAMN LIFE?

Mumbo : *On the verge of a panic attack* How do you deal with all the survivors guilt from losing all your crewmates? How do you even start to process and cope with that?
TFC, Xisuma, Cleo and Wels : *Sips beer* We don't.

Cleo : So, that bitch- *points at Doc* -Killed me, so I'm getting my revenge on him.
Cleo : But these little shits- *Points at the Black Pearl's crew* -Can't seem to go anywhere without almost blowing up.
Cleo : And these bastards- *Points to the Nightmare's and Protector's crews and captains* -Are trying to test my patience.
The Black Allium crew :
Cleo :
The Black Allium crew :
Cleo : You guys are fine. It's the other ships I'm becoming annoyed at-
The Black Allium crew : *Happy noises*

Captain Doc : Ha! I am the only person on the seas with an electric trident!
Mumbo : *With his red electric trident* Am I a joke to you?
Oops- maybe a sneak peak-

TFC : *Tells insane stories that turn out to be true 100 percent of the time*
Mumbo : *1,000 percent scared out of his mind* Could-Could you come with us-

Cleo : I don't care about anyone!
Joe : *Breathes*
Black Allium crew : *Exists*
Cleo : Except for those idiots!

"So, I've been kidnapped and I'm being forced to join this band of dangerous pirates to steal from villages and stuff- it's pretty cool." -Grian at some point in this A.U

iJevin : I would literally rather die than help the damn navy.
Wels : *Steps up*
iJevin : Shit

Captain Cub : Did the manual every say anything about being hunted down by navy ships?
Scar : It only said to run if you don't have ties with them.
Captain Cub : *Shrugs* Huh, seems legit.
The Concorp duo and crew : *Screaming as they sail away from the Protector*

Mumbo : *Being interrogated and at like- 2 hearts* A-Are y-you... even tr-trying?
Doc : Hol up-