Hermitcraft Oneshots and A.U's

Incorrect Quotes??? - #2

Word Count : 688

Warnings : Strong language

XisumaVoid : *Internally screaming* I'm fine, this is fine, this is all fine!
Hermitcraft Server : *Spontaneously combusts*
XisumaVoid : *Eye starts to twitch* Yep- Perfectly fine.

The Hermits : Watcha got there bud?
Grian : *Demise, Civil War 2, Prank Wars, ect are all sitting behind him* A smoothie.

Grian : Ayo guys, if you had to say anything, what would be something your lacking in your life?
Mumbo : Mental Stability.
Doc : The ability to socially interact with people normally.
Xisuma : A nap.
Biffa : The amount of fucks I give.
Grian : Damn guys, lighten it up.
Tango : Matches.
Grian : Not that bright.

The Hermits : *Playing true or dare in season 3*
Cub : Mumbo, truth or dare.
Mumbo : *Being an innocent little 17 year old* Dare!
Cub : I dare you to hug your favorite hermit.
All the Hermits : *Looking at Mumbo in anticipation*
Mumbo : Wait, how am I suppose to hug all of you at once?
All the Hermits : *Cries*

Iskall : Guys what if-
Stress : No. I don't care what it is, just no.
Iskall : But-
Stress : N O

Tango : *At 2am* Guys the light at the end of the tunnel we see when we die is just us being reborn as babies. And we're crying because we're leaving everything we've ever known behind!
Impulse : Tango, its 2am. It's too early for me to have a mental crisis.
Zedaph : Why the hell are you awake thinking about this anyways, Tango?
Tango : My sleep paralysis demon won't let me rest.
Impulse :
Zedaph :
Impulse : Aren't you a demon?

EX : *Furious* Xisuma! You didn't fix the Glitch in the server?!
Xisuma : *Strums on his guitar*
Biffa : *singing* When your server don't work like it use to before~
EX : BIFFA SHUT THE HELL UP!

False : I really do love Pvp matches in the server! We all just have a lot of laughs!
Also False : SCREAM MY NAME AND I MIGHT LET YOU LIVE YOU LITTLE SHITS!
Cleo : *In a narrators voice* She in fact did not let anyone live and killed everyone on the server.

Stress : PLEASE STOP PRAYING FOR OUR GRANDPA! HE'S GOTTEN TOO STRONG THAT XISUMA CAN'T BAN HIM!
Majority of the Hermits : *All lying in a pile on top of each other unconscious*
Xisuma : *Hiding in a tree, trying in vain to ban TFC*
EX : *Lying on the ground just crying*
TFC : *Is ascending while T-Posing to assert dominance over the entire hermitcraft server*
Doc : *Is literally dead*
Grian : *Hiding in a double chest* Tartarus please pick me up I'm scared-
TFC : *Distant explosions go off from him as he continues to ascend away*
Zloy, PixlRiff and Herobrine : *All watching the Hermitcraft server spiral into madness*
The Evolutionists : The fuck kinda shit they on right now?

Mumbo : Seriously? I'm younger than both of you and yet I'm still more mature!
Iskall : *Sticking his finger in Grian's bellybutton, looking at Mumbo* How could you tell?
Grian : *Shrugs* Wasn't really any doubt in that.

Grian : *Frightened* Iskall? Why do you have a knife?
Iskall : *Holding a sword and wanting Grian's head* What knife?

TFC : Sometimes I wonder how I've lived for so long since I'm constantly surrounded by idiots.
The Hermits : *All being stupid*
TFC : Then I remember, all of them would be dead without me so I guess I'm still alive to spite Notch.
Notch : *trying to kill TFC and failing because TFC is an ultimate being*

Wels : So, Jevin, if I killed you, would you turn into even smaller Jevin's since your a slime?
iJevin : Please don't kill me.
Wels : *Pulling out a sword* Guess I'll have to find out on my own.

Stress : What do you have against ice?!
Mumbo : Everything
Stress : *Strangles Mumbo*

Cleo : Alright, let's hear your battle cries you guys!
Stress, Ren, Scar, Xisuma and Mumbo : *Aggressive ambulance and siren sounds*
Cleo : *Dies*

Grian : So, when two people stand under a mistletoe, how about instead of kissing, they battle the person to the death!
Mumbo : Grian no-
Grian : It'll be called mistlefoe-
Mumbo : gRiAn nO-
False : I'm down for that. *Pulls out her OP as hell sword*
All the Hermits : *Internally screaming and panicking*