No More Mistakes

Chapter 48

He's been holding the same blank and deadpan expression on his face for the past five hours, lying in bed, aimlessly glaring out of the narrow window as the joyous sun shone down on him, but the last feeling he felt was joy.

All that ran through him was the feeling of numbness and emptiness, coupled with crippling pain and heartache that he tried his hardest to suppress. He can't quite accept or even register that his father, the one person who's been there for him since birth was really dead and gone, forever, and he wasn't coming back.

The pain was beyond the point of realisation. He's still expecting him to come into his room, demanding he get his lazy ass up and seize the day, but it wasn't happening, and the feeling was far too pressing on his part.

Alice had gotten up early to walk the dog, but it had turned into more of a sad stroll, as even Hot Dog had picked up on the atmosphere, howling and whining all night long and sitting calmly outside of Forsythe's bedroom.

She strolled back into the house with Charlie strapped to her chest, quietly closing the door as not to wake FP and letting Hot Dog off his leash, watching as he made his way yet again to Forsythe's bedroom door.

Charlie lifted his head off his mothers chest, watching the hound as he did. "Grappa!" The toddler chirped, pointing his chubby little hands towards the bedroom and breaking Alice's heart as her eyes formed with tears. She and FP had yet to break the news to him.

"Grandpa isn't here baby." She snuggled softly as she stroked her hand through his mousey brown locks, clutching his tighter to her chest as she kissed down onto his little forehead.

She slowly walked into she and FP's bedroom, seeing FP's full and saddened face lying flat against the pillowcase, the very sight broke her heart, but she wasn't going to show it, she needed to remain strong not just for FP, but for Charlie too.

She sat by his bedside, resting Charlie next to her who soon toddler off and made his way to his brand new truck set in the corner of the room.

She lightly stroked her hands through his hair, rubbing her thumb along, knowing he found it to be a source of comfort.

"FP?" She whispers lowly, hoping he responds.

"I should've done more." He grumbles with him the corner of his mouth pressed into his pillow, still staring blankly at the window with his head towards Alice. "I shouldn't have left him alone, I should've called the ambulance sooner.

She releases a short sniffle as she clenched her eyes shut. He was really hurting and she couldn't do a thing about it. "It wasn't your fault." She assured him with comfort. "We knew he had weak heart already. It was a heart attack, there's nothing you could've done."

He finally rolls over onto the opposite side, vigorously swinging his legs over the bed and springing up, ignoring Charlie pulling on his pant leg, much to Alice's surprise as he proceeds to their closet and pulls out a pair of pants, aggressively pulling them up and refusing to put on a shirt.

"Why him? Huh?" He argues as he glares at her with hurt filled eyes. "All the fucking shitty people in the world and God takes him?" He spits in disbelief.

His father wasn't perfect, and had made his fair share of mistakes in his time, but he was an honourable and decent man, one of a kind, and he was proud to call him his father. He had taught him everything he needed to become a real man and an amazing father himself, so it made him sick to his stomach knowing how many scumbags, in their town nonetheless were walking around in this world freely while his father was laying on a slab somewhere.

"I know right now that you wanna scream, and yells and probably smash something up, believe me I do too." Alice began as she watched him pace up and down. "But you can't lose it, you can't lose your head right now and go off in a rage or on a rampage. Forsythe would want you to stay strong, for Charlie. He needs you, he needs his Daddy, he needs both of us."

She knew how temperamental and impulsive her could be when his emotions got the best of him, and the last thing they needed as a family is him in a jail cell for getting into a vicious fight to release his anger or frustration or drinking himself silly for that very reason. They all needed each other now more than ever.

He took heed of Alice's advice, knowing no matter how he felt in that moment, the most important thing was his family and them all sticking together through this troubling time. They were all each other had.

He glanced down at his son, smiling down with pride at his adorable face before reaching down and picking him up, clutching him to his chest and smothering his forehead with kisses before strolling over to the bed. "I'm sorry buddy." He whispered as he took a seat next to Alice on the bed. "Daddy's so sorry." He repeated, feeling guilty about having ignored him since yesterday. The tot opened up his arms, resting them along FP's chest as he leaned his little head against the tattoo placed in the middle.

Alice rubbed her soft hands over his tense shoulders, comforting him the best she could before he held his head in his hand, letting the tears slowly fall before releasing a sigh and twisting his face in hurt.

He sighed deeply before speaking. "What am I gonna do without him?" He questioned, darting his head towards Alice as deep sadness clouded his teary filled features.

She reached her hands out towards his face face, running them both along his jawline before wiping his tears away, one by one. She scrunched up her own saddened face, pulling her trembling lips in before slowly nodding her head in understanding. "You're gonna be the amazing, determined, compassionate and strong willed man that he raised you to be, and make him proud everyday. Okay?" She stares strongly, desperately awaiting an answer.

He nods in agreement before looking down Charlie cuddled to his chest and then returning back to hold Alice's gaze.

It was strange. Heartbreak and tragedy really did bring people closer together, and gazing into Alice's soft and understanding eyes in that moment as she held his face in her hands for support, he knew they were always going to be together supporting each other, comforting each other and thriving the best as they can, it was just them against the world.