No More Mistakes

Chapter 4

The bright fluorescent lighting from the plain white hospital room blared into her drooping, red blood shot slightly squinted eyes, but none of that mattered right now, all that mattered was the whimpering infant cradled in her arms that she couldn't take her eyes off.

It truly amazed her how the result of such excruciating and agonising pain could be this. It was pure bliss, surrealism. She was in complete awe of the beautiful baby boy in her arms.

"I love you." She whimpered before shifting the blue cotton blanket away from his tiny face. "I love you so much." She reiterated in a whisper with tears still in her eyes

"He's beautiful Al." Tanya smiled as she softly stroked the baby's cheek with her finger, giggling mildly as she did. Tanya wasn't exactly the child friendly type, so seeing her act so soft towards the newborn took Alice by surprise. "I can already see the resemblance. He's got your eyes for sure." Tanya continued.

That was a given, Alice could definitely see those ocean blues he had clearly acquired from her as they were his most standout feature, but everything else was his father through and through, his nose, his lips, his cheeks. She'd recognise those features anywhere.

Staring down at the innocent tot that lay in her arms, it forced her to reevaluate her life and put a lot into perspective, particularly everything that had happened over the past 9 months and just how much things had changed for her and the many mistakes she had made that she needed to make up for, and she had to start somewhere.

"Hey, T?" She calls, looking up at the brunette and locking eyes with her as she shifts her focus from the infant to Alice. "I'm sorry, I really am. I shouldn't have ran out on that job, and you deserved an explanation, I just-"

"Al, don't mention it." She calmly excuses before staring back down at the baby. "This is all the explanation I need." She said gesturing to him. "You were just doing what was best for your baby."

"Yeah, I was." Alice quietly answered

"I think, I'm gonna go to the hospital cafeteria and get a coffee or something." Tanya informed her as she proceeded to the door walking backwards. She reached the door and opened it up before sticking her head back in. "I'd offer you one, but I'm pretty sure that will affect your breast feeding or whatever." Tanya joked as she continued out of the room.

Alice laughed back sadly, processing the joke before the irony hit her like a tonne of bricks. She'd unfortunately never get to experience any of that, a crystal clear small tear fell from her eye before she glared out of the window, appreciating and soaking up this blissful moment with her son before it all came crashing down and was ripped from her in possibly a matter of hours.

•••

Just her luck, the cafeteria was conveniently closed, and Tanya had to settle with shitty vending machine coffee. She stood at the machine, leaning her hand against it as she waited for her hot beverage to be prepared.

"Excuse me?" The familiar nurse from earlier spoke as she approached the brunette from behind, stunning her slightly before she turned around, giving the nurse her full attention. You're with patient Smith, aren't you?"

"Yeah, is there a problem?" Tanya asked nervously

"We just need her insurance details and to contact her parents but we haven't been given any details yet. Could you give them to me now?"

Tanya blinked nervously as she remembered how adamant Alice was about nobody knowing she was in labour in the first place, she was still curious as to why.

"Uhm, her parents are out of town." Tanya lied, fiddling with her hair as she did and giving the nurse a brief smile, a weak attempt on her part to look innocent and honest.

"Well we can't release her until she a guardian come by." The nurse then approached her sternly, a sharp look of slight disbelief on her face. "And I'm starting to think that's not going to happen and I'm going to have to call social services."

"Wait, there's no need for that!" Tanya panicked. "Her guardians, and the father? His family work for the town newspaper." Tanya revealed quietly. Surely whatever the reason was behind Alice not wanting anybody to know she was in labour couldn't be any worse than having social services on her case.

"Oh the Coopers? Yes, we're familiar with that family here. I already have their details, I'll contact them and tell them to come by as soon as possible." The nurse explained before walking away.

She silently nodded as she did, a tight and awkward smile upon her face, she's sure she may have just made a huge mistake. She slowly and nervously walked back into Alice's room, fiddling with her hands as she watched Alice place the infant into the crib next to her.

"Hey, you took your time." Alice pointed out as she turned around. She returned to cooing at the baby.

"Yeah, I kinda got lost." Tanya lied as she walked over to the bed, nervously taking a seat as she continued to observe the two of them, no doubt Hal's family would be on their way by now, she had to start digging.

"So, Hal's probably excited to meet this little one huh?" Tanya questioned, feigning curiosity.

Alice pauses her movements and slowly raised her head, her face turning sour at the mention of Hal. She looked back into the crib, watching the baby flail his little fists about

"Uhm, no, not exactly." She spoke with a hint of sadness. "He's decided to put the baby up for adoption." Alice revealed quietly

"He's decided?" Tanya all but bellowed at the revelation, unfolding her arms and rising from the bed in shock before narrowing her eyes as she processed what she had just said. "Well what about what you want?"

Alice clenched her tear filled eyes shut and pulled in her lips, trying her hardest to prevent the emerging sobs that were threatening to release. "I want him to be loved and safe and in a happy home. That's what I want more than anything." Alice answered with tears in her eyes

"Are you sure about that Al? He's barely an hour old and I can already see you're crazy about that kid."

Tanya was right, she was crazy about that kid, adored and loved him to pieces already. She had already formed a bond with him and she couldn't bare giving him up. The very thought killed her inside.

She suddenly couldn't hold it in anymore and broke down in tears, finally allowing them to fall as her breath hitched in her throat and she sobbed uncontrollably, falling into Tanya's comforting arms as she did.

"I can't! I have to do this, it's for the best. I can't look after him by myself and Hal wants nothing to do with him." She cried into her shoulder, still trying to suppress her loud sobbing.

"What do you mean that bastard wants nothing to do with him?!" She argued with a mild screech in her voice. "It's his kid also."

Alice rose her head up, glaring at Tanya in guilt.

"Isn't he?" Tanya asked

Alice had no response, just silently shook her head and looked back down at that baby.

Suddenly, this revelation began to make a lot of sense. Tanya thought back to everything Alice had mentioned earlier. "Wait a minute, you said when we got here that you weren't due for a couple weeks. And Bobby's party back in August where you and FP-. Oh my God Al, why didn't you say something sooner."

"FP and I weren't on the best terms." She defended, running her hand down her tired face. "And then there was that bullshit with Penny. I didn't know what to do and then Hal came along, he was there for me, so I just figured, maybe he'd be my ticket out, mine and the baby's, but obviously I was mistaken." She finished wiping her tears with the back of her hands.

"You gotta tell FP about this, he has a right to know." Tanya mentioned to Alice

Alice began to panic. "I don't know how, I just can't!"

"Tell him or I will!" Tanya interrupted.

Alice turned away from Tanya and began to glare out of the window again, only to see a unwanted visitor exit a car with his mother and walk towards the hospital entrance.

"Shit, what's Hal doing here?" Alice panicked as she stepped back.

Tanya moved over to the window, shifted the curtain to get a closer look. It was Hal alright. She'd recognise that car from anywhere.