Back In Time (Going Under Editing/Revising)

Chapter: 79 Sickness and Health

Chapter: 79

Connor's POV:

I watch her sleep with a peaceful expression on her face. Night had fallen among us and the moon was shining through the windows. Casting it glows across the floor, but my eyes only held hers. The beauty that she had possessed and knowing that everything was okay now. Everything was calming back down, but I know that we have a lot of things to do. This time it's facing my father again and it made me remember his words on that day when we took Benjamin Church down. Well, he mainly did. I came in a little bit later. Not expecting anything different from my father. 

Rose stirred in my arms and I glance down at her with a puzzled expression. Her hands were gripping the loose garment that I had on. I realized that she was having a nightmare and I know the signs. I had watch Achilles when he was sleeping. Tossing and turning. The different expressions that cross his face as he slept. It still made me confused in what he was dreaming about, but I didn't ask about it. He only told me that his memories had been haunting countless times. It was what she was having right now. I brought her close to my chest and place my lips against her forehead. Her struggling seems to ease and she snuggled against me. Her warm body against mine and I rubbed her back. 

She makes me worried about her constantly. Rosemary has been restless. More restless than before. She had been up before dawn and told me that she was unable to go back to sleep. Sometimes, I see her out on the frontier a lot. Wandering around, but always by herself. Sometimes, she was down at the water with Falkner and on the ship as well. Falkner can see that she is troubling her but had advised to not push her about it. Benjamin hasn't been around at all and had completely disappeared as well. I couldn't blame him at all. He lost his grandmother and his father. He was alone in this world as well as I am. Rose. She did tell me that she still has a family. It wasn't perfect, but it was her family.

I could tell that she misses her family a lot as well but always come to a conclusion that once this is all over. She would be able to go back home. I would like nothing more than that for her. She told me about her sister and her brother. Her parents and how scandalous they are. Her grandmother who was overbearing and giving lectures all the time, but she still loves her. Apparently, her grandmother has always been there supporting her and not her mother. It made me feel warm and I told her that one day that I wouldn't mind meeting her grandmother at all. It made her happy. 

Now, with those memories running strongly through me. It was like she was fighting against something within herself. She had dark circles underneath her eyes from not getting much sleep at all. She nearly had scared me when I saw her slipping down into the river and I had got her before could go in fully, but right there. Rose looked up at me with a defeated expression like she had lost something that was valuable to her. There were other times where I would find her down in the training her and pushing herself down there as well. She would hardly eat anything either. It made me grow restless every time I saw that her smile was disappearing every single day that passed. It made me feel like I wasn't doing something right. 

Was it Benjamin not being here? Was it because we weren't bickering for her to smile at us? Was it something else that was bothering her? Was it because of what had happened to me? My shoulder was healed now. My shoulder was still stiff here and there. That includes the aching feeling that I sometimes get there when I am lifting heavy objects or anything that was heavy. Basically, straining my shoulder which sent Rosemary into a panic state. She had been easily panic recently, but no one knows why. She reassures me that nothing is wrong or that she'll get through her, but I am trying my hardest to give her space. To not push her, but it was becoming increasingly hard to do so. 

*(*

Rosemary's POV:

A soft sigh escapes from my lips as I sat there staring out across the lake. Feeling more and more disgusted with myself. I hated myself! My hands clench into fists as I sat there staring out across the lake. The wind rattling Aquila's main sail. Flapping it in the wind for a minute before the wind dies down. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel horrible. I feel utterly horrified. The kiss was still playing in my mind over and over again. Then again, I have also been dreading the idea of going home. Leaving Connor and everyone that was here on the frontier. Would I still be able to stay for when Connor puts him in the ground? Giving his grave flowers as he had avenged his family? Would I still be here than to live a small life with Connor or be ripped away the moment that Charles Lee dies?

I don't know. 

A headache was forming and I relax against the tree that I was sitting at. Thinking about everything that I had done. It wasn't my fault. It was Benjamin's. He took advantage of me, but I let it happened. So, isn't it somewhat my fault as well? Benjamin hasn't even been around at all. He had disappeared entirely to never be seen again. We haven't seen him in three weeks now. Has it been longer than that? It feels longer than that, but everything is so screw up. I know Connor was worried about me. It was evident on his face everytime I am up before dawn. It has been happening since I have been having nightmares when Connor is gone and when he returns. I am up before the sunlight is peeking above the horizon.

There are times where I don't even want to go back to sleep. My fear had captured me and I know I have to tell him. I have to, but I can't. I am scared. If I tell him, what would his reaction be? Would it be disgust? Fear? Anger? Would he beat the crap out of Benjamin? He had already been through so much, but we have as well. 

"Rose! Rosemary!" A familiar voice shrilled my name and cutting my dark thoughts off. I look behind me to see Diana. One of the Irish wives here. Her panic expression told me everything and I was on my feet in a matter of moments. 

"What is it, Diana?" I asked walking over to her quickly, but she met me half way.

She took my hands in hers before speaking, "It's Achilles. I am afraid I have terrible news."

It shouldn't have surprised me, but it did. Diana told me that Achilles had fallen ill and that this time. It might be his last. Unfortunately for her, it will be the final days until Achilles passed. It meant that we had so little time now before that happens. During those days as well, the war should be ending and the peace talks should be underway. Our search for Charles Lee will probably increase as well. Without any more say between us, Diana lead me through the frontier and back to the main trail. Heading to the manor where Achilles and Connor will be. 

I can't believe that I had been so blind. So lost in my own dreaded thoughts that I didn't realize how much time had actually past. To the point where Achilles was now bed-ridden, the old man was like a grandfather that I never had before. Especially to Connor who had mentored him and train him as well. He did everything for him and now, these were his final days until he finds the peace that he is looking for.

All of this had been a long journeying for all of us, but we have grown in so many ways that it was going to be hard for all of us to lose Achilles. Especially me. It didn't take us long to reach the manor again. We both went inside and to Achilles room. He was adjusting himself on the bed and Connor was already sitting in the chair. He looks up at him with a painful expression and his dark brown eyes held sorrow in them as well. All of this makes me cringe, but I force myself to relax. Softly, I spoke, "Thank you, Diana, for bringing me."

She nodded while giving me a sad expression before taking her exit. With a deep breath, I walk over to Connor and he held his hand out for me. Achilles watches me take his hand and interlocking our fingers together. He smiles warmly at me and Connor, "Please do take care of each other. Connor don't let her out of your sight." 

Connor took a deep breath while speaking in a soft voice, "I won't." 

He nodded and asked Connor, "What are your latest exploits?"

Connor began to tell him what he had to find out and where he had been these last three weeks. I stay here as I was not feeling up to going around and doing whatever, but I was wallowing in my own self-pity. He respected that, but I regret my decision now. Now, Achilles had only so much time left before he passes away. 

Time hadn't slowed down at all. It only sped up faster. Now, we were on a clock. 

Death's clock.

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