Promise? [c.h]

4

-Hazeline's P.O.V-

One cut for being such a worthless person.

Another cut because I don't even belong here.

And another cut because nobody cares anyway.

I heard someone close the door which means I'm alone now, finally. I always do this, every lunch break. People think I'm eating while sitting down on the toilet but no, this is what I'm doing.

I usually hide my scars with bracelets but since wearing a lot of bracelets isn't allowed here I went for hair ties, it worked really. Nobody asked why I had so many well, who would? Nobody even likes me.

I opened the cubicle's door and standing in front of me is the one and only Allison Porter. I quickly ran towards the cubicle but Allison being Allison blocked my way, she's so athletic and I'm well not.

"Hazeline right?" She asked me, no don't call me Hazeline, my mother used to call me that and I don't want to bring back memories. Instead of saying what I really wanted to say, I simply smiled and nodded. Who would care about me anyway?

"Why were you crying?" She asked me which surprised me, she heard my cry? I tried my best not to make a sound but I guess I failed again, that's what I am anyway. A failure.

I tried answering her questions but I really had to go, I just did something stupid yet oh-so-nice so I have to be alone and think, this is reality Hazel, not a stupid dream.

I quickly left but before I even touch the door knob I heard the words I never expected to come out of Allison Porter's mouth, "Remember, I'm here for you if you need anything okay?"

Did she just really tell me that? I thought she was the mean brat of the school? "O-okay.." I said and left the bathroom, now that someone knows I'm crying inside the bathroom for no goddamn reason, I have to think of a new place. Somewhere private, somewhere safe, somewhere hidden.

And what did I see? Obviously the janitor's closet. It's big enough for me and there's one light bulb inside so I guess I won't really have a hard time, this is perfect.

I checked the halls if they were empty and it was! I opened the janitor's closet and closed the door, I opened the light bulb and in flickered a couple of times before it became bright inside.

I looked at my wrists and saw three new cuts, not that deep but it doesn't really look nice. I always cut three times every school day, that's a routine. I guess I just really needed to do it and so, I did. Nobody would even care even if I kill myself tonight, I'm alone.

My mother used to tell me that whenever I'm sad I just need to think of the sun, some people hate it for giving them sunburns or something while some people loved it, but whatever happens, it's still there, shining for us. "Promise me one day you'll shine like the sun?"  I promised my mother I would but well, after she died I was as dull as a dust. I had no shine or sparkle, I had nothing.

My dad then married a girl named Veronica, she was nice to me at first but after a few years she decided I was useless, she insulted me, she hurts me but my dad doesn't know that. My mom said if ever I tell anyone, especially my dad about her hurting me, she will torture me forever. 

Well guess what, I told my dad about it and he immediately taught I was insane, yes he chose Veronica over her very own daughter, now I'm leaving with my grandparents but they're both too old to even make tea so I basically live on my own now.

And that is why, I do this to myself. Well not only this, I have insecurities too but this is the main reason why I do stupid things when I'm alone, I was clean for two months before but ever since my dad left me, I was never clean anymore, I never stopped.

I really liked the feeling of it you know? It would lessen the pain, and my pain inside would be replaced with the pain outside, it's fantastic.

Oh and girls like Allison, well they're also the reason I do this. Why do they have to be so goddamn perfect while I'm here seating like a sloth. They have a perfect life! I always hear the words "My Family" and well I never get to say that because I don't even have one anymore. 

Why can't this just all end, if I die some people would actually care. Because I'm dead, people would care and say "oh poor Hazel," just because I'm already dead.

Sometimes I wish I would just die, at least someone would actually care.

-Vivi's P.O.V-

"You know you should probably check on Ally, she looked pissed." Ian told me interrupting me from complimenting him, yeah he was never really a great boyfriend whenever us two are just alone but I know it's probably because he's just so stressed out, people are like that.

Sometimes he's the best boyfriend ever and sometimes well he's just an annoying prick.

If he does something beyond stupid, I'm going to break up with him, I promise. But for the meantime, let me enjoy his company first.

"Do you not like my company?" I asked in a sweet tone, yeah I'm flirty so what he's my boyfriend.

"You know I do babe, but I really think your best friend needs you right now." He does have a point though, Ally left us without even hugging me that means it's something serious.

"Fine bye." I said and grabbed my purse but before I go Ian pecked me on the lips and smiled, you see sometimes he's just the cutest. He's bipolar that's why.

Ian was so sweet the very first time we dated but now I think he's slowly getting bored with me, I feel like he's only doing this for popularity but he was my best friend before, until now actually so he wouldn't do that right?

Okay what am I even thinking, he's a great boy okay Vivi and you're very lucky to have him as your guy best friend and your boyfriend so quit complaining.

Now to look for my best friend and find out what she's feeling at the moment, she clearly needs me right now since she left the table a while ago.

I think I heard her say she's going to the bathroom so I'm going there first, I still have ten minutes until my next class starts so I guess I have enough time.