'Until Death Do Us Apart' (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Chapter 70

'*If By Chance - Ruth B.*'

FRIDAY 21.04.2023

I had just left Tom's house - our house - to return to my hotel. I didn't have the strength to take all my stuff tonight, I didn't have the strength to part with my man tonight. I knew that sooner or later I was going to have to come back and get my stuff and my cats, but right now I was unable to do that.

This conversation had just broken my heart, I was totally devastated. Tom had broken up with me, he had broken up with me as if I meant nothing to him. We had promised to love each other forever, to make each other happy.

He had promised to make me happy.

I was walking faster and faster. My tears of sadness had turned into tears of rage. I was angry at him, I was enraged at him. He didn't even think about what was good for me, only what was good for him. He was more selfish than ever and it made me sick.

"Fuck you Tom", I cried as I entered his – our – living room again.

I had left his house two minutes before and turned around to go back to him. I hadn't told him everything I wanted to say and I was probably going to regret the words that were coming out of my mouth but I didn't care. I didn't deserve to be treated like a nobody, I didn't deserve to be treated like that.

"Ems", he whispered while getting up from the couch.

"Shut up and let me talk", I yelled as I slammed the door. "You are such an asshole Tom and I hate you. I understand that the situation is not easy for me but it's not easy for me either. So stop fucking pushing me away. You should be fighting for me, I should be your priority. And, honestly, after everything we've been through, I thought I was your priority," I said as I walked towards him.

My lover's chest was rising rapidly under his dark shirt. I had never talked to him like that, never yelled at him like that. All my sadness was transformed into anger. I had never felt so much hatred towards someone.

"It's always the same with you: when you're doing well, you shower me with promises and compliments and as soon as something happens, you let me down. And I'm fucking sick of it. I'm sick of you," I said, crying with rage.

Tom was standing in front of the couch and I was only a few inches away from him. I was using my arms and hands to emphasize my words as I could see streams of tears falling from his eyes. His cheeks were completely hollow as his nostrils flared under his deep breaths.

"You promised to make me happy. You promised to take care of me. You promised me that we would have a child together one day. You promised me that we would have a beautiful future. And now what? Some fucking student makes a comment to you and you decide to break up with me? What the fuck is wrong with you?" I asked without really addressing him.

I could see that I was literally breaking him from the inside with my hurtful words but I didn't care. I had to tell him how I really felt inside, I had to let him know how much he was hurting me, I needed him to know how much I loved him.

"I thought you were stronger than this. I thought you'd make it through a few criticisms. I thought I was worth fighting for. I thought you would put me first. Because that's what I would do for you Tom. I would protect you in front of everyone and love you in front of everyone because you're the only thing I care about," I shouted and pointed at him.

Our faces were only a few millimeters apart and his shaky, sobbing breath kept crashing against my nose and mouth. I didn't even feel bad that I was hurting him. I felt nothing but rage and fear.

"And it breaks my heart to see that we're not on the same page - it breaks my heart to notice that you don't love me as much as I love you," I now spoke very softly as I cried my eyes out.