'Until Death Do Us Apart' (Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Chapter 58

'*Unspoken - Aaron Smith*'

THURSDAY 08.12.2022 + FRIDAY 09.12.2022

We had spent most of the day on the couch, talking. Tom had called a gynecologist to make an appointment since we weren't sure what to do next. We had an appointment tomorrow morning at 9:00 a.m. to discuss all of this with a professional.

Tom was very understanding about the whole situation and didn't hold it against me at all. He knew that if I wasn't ready, there was no point in pushing it. He wanted his future child to grow up in a stable and happy environment and right now we couldn't provide that.

In the early evening, having not eaten anything for a while, I started to feel really weak. My thin legs and arms were shaking gently while my back was aching horribly. Despite the hunger I felt, the nausea took over whenever I thought of food.

Tom carried me to the bedroom and laid me down on the bed. He sat next to me and stroked my hair and looked at me with pain. Some people went through their pregnancies without any problems and I felt like I was on my deathbed.

"What can I do Ems?" he asked me as he placed his palm on my cheek.

"Nothing at all, thank you. It's just that the trip really wore me out," I replied, kissing the inside of his hand.

"Alright, I'll let you sleep then," he informed me as he placed his lips on the top of my forehead. "I'll leave the door open as if you can call me if you need anything okay?" he reassured me gently.

"Thank you," I thanked him with a weak smile.

The second Tom left the room, I started crying again. Between the pain and the fact that I was going to kill our child, I couldn't hold back the tears. I felt helpless and stupid, my first contact with motherhood was to terminate my pregnancy, which destroyed me completely.

I knew it was the right thing to do, I knew it was the right thing to do, but it didn't make it any easier. I wanted to give my future child a beautiful life, one that was very different from mine. I didn't want to make the same mistakes my parents did.

Tom, who had probably heard my sobs, had come to lie next to me and hugged me tightly. He didn't talk to me, letting me cry as I needed to. He just held me, letting me know that he was there for me and that I could count on him.

Everything seemed so much easier when he was close to me, everything seemed possible. I was no longer afraid of anything. For God's sake he even made me want to have a child one day, which had seemed unlikely before I met him. He knew how to comfort me, he knew how to reassure me and he knew how to love me.

"I'm sorry Tom. I don't know why I'm crying," I apologized softly.

"Stop apologizing Love. Between your hormones, your pain and what's coming tomorrow, you have a right to cry," he informed me in a slightly broken voice.

I turned quickly so I could look at him. He was crying too, very softly. He wasn't even trying to hide it, he was just being honest with me. I put a hand on his cheek and briefly wiped away his tears.

"I love you," I whispered, pressing my forehead against his.

"I love you too," he replied, sliding his fingers behind my neck.

It was now dark outside and we hadn't moved a muscle. My hand was still on his cheek while his fingers were lost in my hair. We had been like this for several hours, talking quietly about many things.

After a while, Tom had finally fallen asleep, his forehead still pressed against mine. Personally, I couldn't sleep a wink, I was far too scared for tomorrow morning and in too much pain.